Undomestic - really!

I like to think of myself as a fairly neat person. Now, growing up I've always had to take care of my own room, own clothes, bathroom, yadda yadda eventhough we had a maid. My mother took good care to ensure that my brothers and I learn to help with the chores around the kitchen (cleaning up after we had our dinner - we took turns washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, clearing the table). The maid cooked and cleaned the general area of the house, but we vacuumed our own rooms did our own laundry and ironed our own clothes. I thought this was normal in every household - until I met a friend who complained that she and her sisters were always asked to do chores in the kitchen while her brothers didn't have to do so. I thought that her family was a bit conservative. I vowed then that my children - male or female would do the same chores. I thought it was going to be easy and that my future husband would want the same too. After all, all my other male cousins didn't mind doing "womenly" chores. And I helped with the washing of the car, taking out the garbage and assemble furniture when it was needed. Fairness and equality right?

Fast forward to 2004 I was extremely suprised to learn that my husband also has the "women in the kitchen" mentality too. Don't mean to sound harsh. Maybe there's a nicer term for that? Anyway, if you read my previous entry you know that my husband and I had a long distance relationship before we got married. I moved to live with him and his parents and it was only then that I really learnt a lot about him and how he grew up. Turns out that his mother never let the boys in the kitchen. So he never had to clean up after himself. Never had to wash the dishes, never had to do his own laundry. I don't really know about cleaning his own bathroom, although I think he never had to do that either coz last time I left him for 3 weeks to visit my family I came back to a filthy bathroom. I mean, it wasn't all that filthy..... but I could tell that water deposits had started building in certain parts of the shower stall and well, you can just imagine what happens in a damp area. Oops, I digress.

I call myself the undomestic diva coz I really do try to keep up with the household chores and keep our home clean and tidy. But it's so hard when it feels like I'm picking up after another person. I mean really, is it so hard to throw a used shirt in the dirty laundry area of the room? Everyday I'm picking up after shirts and pants that are lying around the apartment. So sometimes I just leave the dirty things lying around - undomestic? Yeah. And diva I am too. Can't help it. I make a big fuss. I scream and complain when things aren't done a certain way. Pretender? yes.

I think the other thing that hinders us from having a really nice home that's spick and span is that hubby's idea of neat is different than mine. Me? I don't like things that are on the floor (how to vacuum and mop when there are things on the floor?). I like them organized into drawers, cabinets or shelves. Him? He thinks small piles of magazines and papers lying on the floor in systematic order is neat. I like the printer on top of the desk, but since there's no space he says we should put it on the floor. I like the car trunk completely empty so that we can put stuff inside when we need to. He uses it as a trash can. Oh, this is ridiculous I could go on and on.

Oh well, gotta love him for all the positive things that he is. It's just wierd though. To think that someone as independent, strong, intelligent as hubby still needs someone like me to make sure that his home is clean and neat, his food is on the table and that he has a partner to play games, sports and other activities with. Tell you what though - my children will learn to help with the chores and daddy can very well show a good example by helping out or not. That's his choice.