Moody

Hubby is not in a good mood. I tend to stay away from him when he's stressed and snappy like he is now. In the past I would stand and listen to what he has to say and try to empathise. But lately I've felt that I always have to listen to his problems, but he never listens to mine. I think maybe I'm being selfish. Alah... I'll bet you all would say that I am. So yeah, I'm selfish. But see, I've sacrificed so much of my life to be with him here. I've had to leave my friends, my family, the job that I loved so much and the place I call home just so that he can achieve the career that he wants. Being able to be away from gossipy relatives and the bad attitude of malays is a bonus for him too. So I can't help feeling a little bit bitter you know? Here I am in a foreign country and I can't even let other people know that I'm his official wife coz of stupid visa issues. I had this huge plan of going to a prestigious school to do my masters degree but because there aren't any top schools in the area we're living in I'm now pursueing my masters in this not so well known school. Heck, it's like listed in the third tier of the top schools in the USA. That doesn't mean a lot at al coz that's like #300 or something like thatl. So I'm top of the class - I'm quite happy about that coz I've never been top of the class, but sigh sigh sigh.... if we ever leave this state no company will know of this university and even care if I finished first or last in the class. I'd be competing with students from more well know universities after all. Anyway yeah, that's why I'm bitter. And there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Hubby is playing video games and I'm surfing the WWW. If I go sit by him I'll start talking nonsense and bringing up this bitterness which I don't like to bring up to often. As it is I've been nagging him about so many things. Don't want him to feel unhappy everytime he's at home now do we? I won't be a very good wife if I did that. I'm trying so hard to look at the more positive things in life. So, nagging and being bitter and snapping at hubby is a no-no today. *breath* Be strong!