I'm caving in

Ok, I didn't want this blog to turn into a baby blog. So I made a new blog here.

I don't know how much I'll be updating this blog. I think I may want to archive it. But if you're interested to know more about my journey through pregnancy go ahead and visit me in my new place.

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July 30, 2007

What can I say? The picture says it all. I've been meaning to put this picture up so I remember when it happened. But have been too busy to do so. Oh man, we're still in the phase of just thinking that it's all surreal. Haven't been to the doctor's yet but the appointment is for September. Apparently kat US ni doctor's don't see you till your 8-12th week. So that's why it's so late.

I'm delighted. Been wanting to join the ranks of new mommies for a while now. Scared too coz dunno if I can handle this. But I think with so many friends (offline and online) who are new mommies, everyone will have some advice to give. Hopefully hubby is as calm. The other day papa (his papa) told me that hubby was nervous. Bless him...... I think he's thinking about how he really is responsible for me and another being now.

Haven't told anyone but the nuclear family and my bestest friend in the world. I mean, it's still early. So I don't want to tell everyone just in case you know? Pray for me!

I've been sucked into the hype!

Oh shoot me now. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I got sucked into the hype of this bag. I first read it on this person's blog. As soon as I realized that it was going to be on sale in the US at these stores, I quickly called my brother-in-law (BIL) to get one for me. So, I thought he wouldn't do it but he did! So tak percaya ok! He called us at 5:30am to say that he just arrived at the store and there was already a long line. He joined the line and told hubby to warn me that he might not get any. Boo hoo ok. But 10 minutes later he called again and said that the store rep had come out to say that they have more than enough for everybody. Three bags per person and when they counted, BIL would most definitely get the set of three as long as no one cut the queue. He couldn't help but mention that there were only asians lined up for the bags. Asians here mean oriental looking - chinese looking = Japanese, Korean, Chinese and the like. Hohoooo how kiasu we all are. Orang mat salleh tak kisah pun!!! Apparently after getting the set of three, BIL joined the back of the line again and almost got another set of three. The person in front of him got the last 3 bags from that store.

I don't know how I'll be using the bag yet. It's supposed to be used as a reusable grocery bag. Tengoklah. :p

In other news, hubby is almost done with his month long vacation. But before he starts work we're flying to the west to see the in-laws for the weekend. Kinda looking forward to do that, but also not so much coz we have to attend some kenduri thingy and the malays there have never really accepted me into their circle. I mean... I'm kind of a loner and I always get all weirded out when we see hubby's ex there. I mean, she's married and all that now but ughhhhhhhhhhhhh tak suka ok. She was so disrespectful when hubby and I were going out. Was trying to get him back and trying to win him over by sending baked goods to him on his birthday and all. And when we were getting married she acted all nicey-nicey, wishing him well but not forgetting to say that she knew that this life he had was what he wished for. Bull! Ugh. Benci. I really don't know how to control THAT part of my emotion. Seriously. I wish I didn't feel this way.

Anyway, I also got my HP OTP today. The UPS guy who delivered it actually had a wizard's hat and the spectacles. So kelakar. :p I wish I had gotten a picture of it. Just hilarious I tell you! And with that, the undomestic diva has to go fix some dinner tonight before she can continue gluing her nose to the pages of the new HP book. :)

So bloody proud!

Hubby is done with residency and I'm soooooooooooooooo proud of him that my heart could just burst with pride! I can't believe he's finally done. To think that when we first moved here, we didn't know anyone, were struggling to find our way around town, and getting used to the racist comments that were thrown our way.

Now he will get to earn the money he deserves after 10 years of school + training (actually 8 lah coz he took 2 years off). I feel so much a part of the hard work he has gone through this past 3 years. I was with him when he applied for the positions, attended interviews and 'first look weekends'. I was home alone when he was on call every 2 nights and there for him when he was stressed out and could not stop ranting about work and the lazy co-workers he had, or the inefficient system they were forced to use. I got to see him grow into a mature person and a more tolerant human being, a better listener and a better provider.

But I also feel bad coz I was not a perfect wife. I was upset when he wanted to spend more time on extra activities at work. I asked him to stop whining when I could not take any more of his stressful rants, I gave him a hard time when he was unable to take time off for vacation and I sometimes forgot to do the laundry so much so that he didn't have any clean underwear to wear to work. heeeeeeeeeee bad wife!

But all of that has come to this. Our parents flew in for his graduation lunch and we saw how loved he was by the staff at his workplace. We saw how much all the other residents sacrificed a lot for the job too. We saw hubby awarded with not just one, but two different awards. I tell you, it took me every ounce of energy in my body not to jump up and down for joy and shriek with delight!

But in all of that, it humbles me that we've been blessed by Him. It makes me want to be a better mus|im and a better person.

Sayang I'm so proud of you!

Busy Bee

My goodness I've been so busy! It's so great to have my parents here. Too bad there's nothing much to do in this stinking boring town. I feel bad coz my dad isn't quite used to driving on the right side of the road and the road rules are slightly different so he'd rather stay at home than go jalan-jalan when I'm not around. I took two days off from work and then half a day off today, but I still feel bad coz they were stuck at home for two days with no where to go. Walking is an option but the area we live in is not conducive for that mode of transportation. No taxis, no efficient buses nor trains. So at home they stayed.

Tomorrow the in-laws are flying and boy it's going to be even busier!! They didn't plan on being in town at the same time, but it's still going to be cool to have the whole family together-minus the siblings. But there's time for that in the future.

Hubby has been very good! He's made good conversation with daddy dearest and has not been annoyed with any of my family's quirks yet. There has been some instances when he thinks some negative thoughts. But it's just him learning about the family. He's never really had to live or stay very long with my family when we got married because I came here a few months after the wedding. So I got to see how his family worked and he only got to see some of the things about my family that makes them special. I hope he sees more and more about how people can be different and being different doesn't necessarily equal being bad. Even if it is, something that the other family talks negatively about. Does that make sense?

Anyhoo.... I've had to quickly make some nasi lemak for the in-laws' breakfast tomorrow. Thank goodness my mom helped in the kitchen too. Or else it would've taken forever for me to clear up the kitchen and prepare the food at the same time. Gotta keep everything spick and span as mum-in-law is a neat and clean freak!! Boy, now it's my turn to be nervous! heeeeeeeeee

Sunshine ahead

Just heard that my parents are coming for a visit. I'm so looking forward to it. Haven't seen them since I last visited home a year and a half ago. Hubby is nervous as all hubby's are when their father in law is coming over. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

phew

What a long 3 weeks it has been for me. Elisa, thanks for dropping the comment. I didn't think anyone dropped by my blog anymore. After all, I haven't been diligent in updating it.

Anyway, I've had to think deep and hard and go through so many different emotions this past month. Things I've learned is that everyone has a different way of viewing an issue. And it's up to me to decide which is the best for myself. Coz only hubby and me really understand and know what we've been through and what our threshold for arguments are.

Things that make me wonder though are of the differing opinion one person compared to another.

Quotes I still remember and had swimming around my head were:

Online chatting really isn't cheating. He just wants to know if he still 'has it'. (try and guess if this person is a guy or girl!).

Knowing that he needs more than what you can give, you have to decide if you want to give the extra bit to him and lose a little bit more of yourself.

You have to remember that syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu and suami. To be the best person you can be, your number 1 priority is your husband.

The best and most comforting words came from hubby himself.

You have a right to be angry and no, you're not making a big issue out of this. I'm sorry. I have a problem and I want to fix it.

So taking in all that I've heard, I do believe that there are more good qualities in our marriage than the bad. But I can't help thinking, is it really true that men can't be without their women. So is life really all about making sure that he's happy coz if he's not, he will find it elsewhere - be it through friends, through strangers or other weird hobbies.

Is this another lesson in life?

Questions

I am so tired. Tired of crying, tired of being bitchy, tired of feeling like my heart is breaking in two. I am sick and tired of catching hubby seeking companionship with strangers when he feels like I'm not paying enough attention to him. I'm sick of confronting him and hearing him say sorry. I don't want to hear him say that he can't help it and that he has a problem. I want him to just stop. I want him to accept me for the person that I am. I can't give him what he wants. I can't give him what he needs. Is it even worth going on? Do the positive traits outweigh the negative? Am I all that unlucky to be with him? He cares for me, he loves me, but whenever I am the tiniest bit involved in my own life - my exams, my career, my family, my friends - he feels neglected. He's such a passionate person. His extreme happiness, love or sadness is so overwhelming. I can't be on the same level. Is it worth it to go on?

Most eligible bachelor no more

I shrieked when a friend smsed to say that Raja N@zrin is getting married. My.. my... finally he's making the plunge. I don't know why I felt so excited. It's not like I know him personally. I suppose being from Perak and having him attend my wedding has something to do with it. Next time he would be the one on the pelamin... instead of being flagged by the bride and groom. I just think it's sweet. I do hope it's for real and not just for show. Hopefully the person he has chosen has the intelligence and sophistication that he has. I just hope for the best for them both.

Back then...

You're fired.

No, not me. But someone else on the team. It was so shocking coz it was done so quietly. We didn't even realize he left. I saw him walking with the manager and thought nothing of it coz the manager likes to keep abreast with how you're doing. The only thing that was different this time around was that they walked around my way, which was a longer route to his office. So I thought that was weird. Turns out they came around my way instead of going around the other way because they used the conference rooms, instead of the manager's office. Anyway, after I saw the manager and said colleague, I continued with work. A while later the whole team received an email saying that our colleague was leaving to seek other opportunities outside the company. No farewell parties, no thank you for his services. Nothing. I turned around to talk to my mentor and she explained that whenever an email as abrupt as that is sent out, it normally means that it wasn't the person's choice to leave. Bloody hell, my eyes were so wide and I was so shocked that a colleague and friend had just gotten fired! He was asked to leave immediately. He only got to take his keys and bag from his desk and leave everything else untouched. None of us even realized that he had left. No goodbyes, nothing! The team lead knew of course, that he was going. And she said that we were all so engrossed with work, that we didn't even realize that he was taking his stuff to leave. I saw the manager come around to the colleagues cubicle a while later to take his laptop and to lock up all the cabinets and drawers. I could tell my co workers were all trying to ignore the fact that the manager was at our colleagues desk and that, our colleague was gone. Man, what a way to shake up the team! It just seemed so abrupt and sudden! I'm sure it doesn't do well for the team's confidence. I don't know. We were all trying to continue with work... but it was just weird. I was undoubtedly sad since that colleague had been a really nice guy to talk to at work. He was more on the playful side, but I didn't realize that he was underperforming on his job. Apparently he had been given warnings to buck up since he was not meeting his job objectives. And they're been monitoring his internet usage for the past 6 months. Apparently he had his internet privileges taken away from him when he was using it way too much and leaving his work untouched.

How powerful the manager is that he/she can just fire a person without any notice. One day, you're at work, thinking that you'll have this job for a long, long time, and the next, you're asked to leave, escorted off the property and you have to explain to your spouse that you're out of a job. What about the friends you've made at work? Is it even worth the while to keep in touch? Or is it too embarrassing to even see any of them maybe at the grocery store, or at a basketball match? How crushed could someone be to be told that you're not good enough for us, and we're letting you go. It just seems so harsh to me. Some of the reasons are of course valid - for him at least, it seemed like the company gave him 6 months to buck up, but he wasn't interested in doing so. But what if you thought u were doing a good job, but you really weren't?

Anyway, it seems like the office can be really 'fake'. You're always told that you're doing well, your colleagues are more than willing to be friendly and helpful, but really you don't know if they mean it or whether they don't. It's up to you to stand up and ask the manager what you can do to be a better worker and to ask for frank feedback. No such thing as just doing your work and flying under the radar. Flying under the radar doesn't seem like a safe choice at all. In this country you have to stand up and make sure that people hear how hard you are working. In my department anyway, it seems that anyone could be stabbing you in the back. If it makes them look better, it's for their benefit to put you down as much as they can. I never knew it could be this way, but I just feel like I have to really protect myself and my job and not to take it too personally. At the end of the day, I'm spending time to ensure that the company is succeeding and I'm getting paid to do so. It doesn't dictate my personal life. Colleagues will always be colleagues. And I'm going to try as hard as I can to make sure that my personal life isn't shared unnecessarily.

So that's that. A long entry after such a long time of being away. It's so boring to write about work anyway. :p

Work Visa

The big news from here is that the immigrations services officially opened the start day to start accepting applications for work visas on April 1st. There are 65000 visas available this year with an extra 20000 for those who have earned a masters degree. Last year the 65000 cap for the year was reached in the second month after the start date. Guess when the cap reached this year? On the second day!! According to the website there 150 000 applications arrived by the second day!

I'm so nervous coz my application is in that bunch. I really hope I get it. Or else I will have to find another way to continue working where I am. Sigh.. pray for me

Ain't so bad after all

So the cut isn't that bad after all. Didn't need any stitches and it stopped hurting. I hope it heals quickly thought. With the dry air here its always so hard for my cuts to heal quickly. My skin gets dry and peels and ugh.. I end up with scars!

Anyway, that's nothing major.

Today I found out at work that one of the newbies finally went to the manager to complain about a co-worker who was supposed to be a mentor. The mentor I have to admit is really loud and sometimes rude. I've been observing her u know? She comes across as a person who wants attention and wants to feel important. She'll get involved in any little thing that needs to be done and she's very generous with stating her mind. She has these comments.... you know the kind that kinda makes you wonder if she really is joking. It's kind of on the borderline of being rude. I see the other people in the team and some of them say something in return but she will always have the last word. But after 4 of 5 rounds of 'smart' comments you either ignore her or she'll turn to someone else and say that you were butting into her business or she was just being nice by having a conversation. Let's just say she thinks putting you down is humorous.

Anyway, she hasn't been helping the newbie be a better worker and she's had these comments that make you feel like you're being put down. And newbie reported to the manager. I wonder what effect it'll have on the mentor-mentee relationship. Apparently mentor apologized but said that she was just being professional by stating her mind and how the team we work in is the kind that blabbers comments like she does. Ho boy....

It makes me feel lucky to have my mentor who's very encouraging and is willing to share her knowledge with me. She'll tease at times, but it doesn't come across as rude. And she does it moderately too, so I don't care. After all it can't be too serious a working relationship.

I just wonder why the manager never addressed the situation in the team before. The way I see it, he lets all the people under him push him around. Maybe it's a joke but I was surprised as how easy he gave into the teasing that the other team members gave him. In fact, my newbie friend said that the manager had put her with the mentor to work together because he knew newbie could put mentor in her place. Wow... how caring can the manager be to put a new person into the team to put someone else who's been in the team a lot longer in her place? I thought that was the manager's job. What's the point of him knowing the situation if he can't control his own subordinates. It makes me really worried.

I'm just going to continue observing and see what happens.

Sliced my finger

Hmph... I'm so smart. Thought I could use a blunt knife to get the seed of an avocado out. You know, how those pro chefs do it... You slice the avocado in half, hit the pit with your knife, twist your knife to loosen the pit and walah.... you now have a pitless avocado. See here for pictures and more info.

But I was so stupid to use my blunt knife and so the knife slipped right off the pit, and landed onto my thumb. Cut up a clean deep cut in my skin I did. And I'm a sissy.. I'm such a sissy when it comes to blood and cuts. So what did I do? I screamed and put my finger under running water and closed my eyes. Hubby came out of the study room and saw my finger. Took a band-aid and just covered it up while I felt queasy and like I was about to pass out. The blood continued to soak the band aid and so hubby asked me to keep my hand above my head. That made me even more queasy that I thought I was going to black out.

That was last night. And this morning as I changed the band-aid I saw that the cut didn't really dry up as I thought it would. I wanted to put minyak gamat (my mom had supplied me with the miracle ointment before I left for the US) but hubby said not to infect it with it. Hmph.....

Ah well, the normal accidents of a lady in the kitchen isn't it? I can't tell you how many scars I have from the hot oils, tiny nicks and scratches from all the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen.

Gunshots in the night

Never would I have imagined myself waking up in the middle of the night to the sounds of gunshots. I thought it only happens in the movies. Or at least, in a more dangerous part of town.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I had too much coffee and was struggling to calm my over-active brain activities so that I could get some shut eye. The bedroom window was open to let some cool air into our warm room. It was quiet outside. Then I heard some shouting in the distance followed by 3 popping noises. It sounded like firecrackers but my mind kept saying that it could possibly be gunshots. "Did you hear that?" I asked hubby. Then we heard two more popping sounds. "Were those gunshots?!". Hubby got out of bed and looked out the window. Not like he would get such a great view anyway. Our window overlooks the driving range and then another apartment complex. Behind the apartment complex are all the shops, restaurants and cinema in the area. He swore it was firecrackers and he got back into bed. But as soon as he did that I heard sirens. "It was gunshots! Can you hear the sirens?". Oh yeah, it was quite obvious they were sirens. But it sounded like it went past the general area where we live. So we ignored it. But then came more sirens and we strained to listen if it would also pass where we were or if it would get louder. Then hubby heard an ambulance siren. We scrambled back out of bed to take a look outside. Sometimes if you're lucky you can see the main street that people take to go to the shops that are hidden behind the neighboring apartment complex. And sure enough, we saw two glowing red lights flashing from the right side of the main road. And then we saw another from the other side of the road. If it weren't for the flashing lights we wouldn't have been able to see anything. The road is about 5 minutes drive from where we live. So it wasn't all that close. But we saw the flashing lights getting closer to us, as if the cars were entering the inner roads that lead to the neighboring apartment complex. And the flashing lights came from different directions. Hubby was sure that they were either chasing someone or trying to surround the people they were trying to catch.

First thought that went in my mind was woah... that's really close. I hope no one's hurt. And then the second thought was "That's an amazing response time!!". It must've been only 2 minutes since I heard the first shot and already the police and ambulance were close to the scene. I wanted to go back to sleep coz I was pretty confident that whatever drama that was going on would be over soon. But hubby coaxed me into taking a drive to see what the incident was about. Never will the 'menyibuk' characteristic of a true blood melayu be thrown away.

So we rushed downstairs, got in the car and drove out of the apartment complex towards the shops. As soon as we passed the neighboring apartment complex, we saw 5 police cars surrounding a normal looking green colored car - blocking off the road. A policeman was talking to someone in the driver seat of the car. And all the police cars had their headlights shining on the green car.There was a junction just before the group of police cars, so we turned into that junction only to find another group of police cars surrounding two other normal cars. This time I saw two black guys face down on the ground with their hands behind their heads. It didn't look like anyone was injured. And again all the lights of the police car and the ambulance was shining on the cars and the guys on the ground. We drove by pretty slowly to take a good look and hubby actually asked if I had brought my camera so that we could take pictures. (Ok, menyibuk giler!!!). But no, I didn't have my camera coz we left in such a rush. We went around the block to take a look again at the scene and then drove back home.

The weird thing about the whole incident though, is that I don't feel worried or scared at all that such an incident happened pretty close to where we live. The fact is that this is a safe area. The most a police had to do was pull someone over for speeding in a residence area. The speed limit is 70kph. Anyone going 80kph on the stretch of main road would surely be pulled over by the police. Most kids who hang out by the cinema and go to the retail stores around the area come from pretty well to do families. We hardly see any gathering of young people that look like they're up to no good. Hardly ever hear of burglaries nor cars getting broken into. Not unlike the downtown area where I went to university. I'd hear about muggings almost everyday and I had friends whose house were broken into and I had a friend whose car window was smashed for no apparent reason. The area we're in is very safe and so hubby and I have deduced that the people who were involved in the incident yesterday were not from this area. And the police response was amazing that if anything similar were to happen, the people involved would be caught right away.

So that's my interesting thing to blog about this week. Other than that, things have been pretty boring. Work is getting more realistic and people are starting to talk about the 'bad side' of working there. Unlike when I was interviewing when everything that I was told is only good. I do think though, that the things people are complaining about are normal everyday things other people in other work environments complain about - you know, the management, lazy co-workers and the like. So nothing new there.

Kids

I thought I had a good handle on my emotions when it came to living so far away in a foreign country. I have established a stable home and created a pleasant life for me here. Things are going well and it makes me happy. But once in a while I come across pictures of friends and family in KL and I feel almost a pang of envy. I feel so left out and disconnected from the life that's going on over there. It hits me really hard and always unexpectedly. I yearn to be a part of the lives of my friends and family but at the same time I don't want to let go of the life I have here. I worked so hard to make it as good as it is and I don't want it to disappear.

Today I found a friend's blog. I haven't kept in touch with her for a while but I've heard that she's married and has a one year old daughter. On her blog she posted pictures of herself and her daughter and the things they've been doing. One of the albums was of her meeting up with other friends who all had children too. They were my classmates in school and it was just an outing to a restaurant. But all of them brought their children. I didn't know that some of them had children and seeing the pictures of all of them just made me feel like I've been left out somehow. I mean, it's not like they're my best friends u know? And even if I were in Malaysia I wouldn't be hanging out with them on a constant basis. But it was amazing looking at the smiles, the laughters and the playful moments the children all had with each other and their mothers. I want that. I want to be able to share my moments with my friends that I grew up with. I want to attend a birthday party for a child of a friend of mine. I want to be able to bring my child to that party and to interact with all the people that are familiar to me.

Even if I were to have a child here, I'll never be able to have the whole 'let's have a party and invite all our friends and their kids too' occasion. Even if we had a group of people that we would do that with, it will never ever be comparable to celebrate and live life with the familiar faces back in KL. At times like this, I wish hubby and I were living in Malaysia and enjoying the sunshine, the family members, the friends and the whole KL culture that sometimes we complain about.

Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri..... (you fill in the blanks).

The other person

The day I started work, I wasn't the only new person. There were a few others. We were seriously guided throughout the first few weeks. And even now, after almost a month of work, we haven't been given that much independence in terms of getting our work done. Every piece of code, every piece of digital document that we touch is looked over by a senior member of the team. I have no problems with that. I was quite surprised, sure, coz I always thought most companies throw a new person into the pool to see how capable they are of staying afloat. You know, they try to gauge your knowledge and see if you need some guidance or not. If you don't, they normally challenge you with work that's not as easy as someone who would need the guidance from the very beginning. But no, this is not how it works in this team that I'm in. You're literally guided every step of the way. And once again, I have absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I kind of like it. Go figure.

The thing is, this other new member of the team can't stand having his hand held throughout the process. He's young and smart and isn't finding the work at all what he expected. He says it's too easy. In fact, he's quite appalled that someone is looking over his shoulder whenever he's assigned some work. He laughs at the type of projects that need to get done and he's already looking for another job to transfer to.

He talks about all this everyday to me. And I can't identify with the frustrations he has. I mean, sure its easy work and all that, but he has to have some sort of respect for the people who've been here way before he has. And he needs to be more thankful for the fact that he was even offered a job in the first place. But whenever I try to point out the positives in his situation, he says he's not complaining.... but ugghh.. kinda sounds like it don't you think? Anyway, he's complained about everything. About how he can't believe he has to pay so much for tax, about how horrible the weather is, about how little work there is to do, about how little regard he has for his mentor... on and on the list goes. It's just sad that he can forget how hard it was for him to interview for the job and how with the degree that he has, he's really being paid more than what the other people on the team are. I just wish he had more appreciation for the opportunities that have been given to him. Tak tahan lah... asyik complain memanjang.

When I think back, I believe I would feel the same way he does. Maybe I'm just a little bit older now and I can appreciate the laid back style that this company has. I've been through the 7 day a week 10 hours a day job and I've been through the keeping myself afloat since no one has time to guide me through the business processes of a job. I've been there, done that and I'm happy for the experience that I had. And now I'm happy for the laid back style of the job and I'm happy with the salary that I'm getting paid. I sure hope this guy doesn't bring me down with him when he can't stop complaining about his first ever full time job.

*grin*

Ok... ok.. I haven't updated my blog in a while now. Everytime I thought about writing I've had to abandon the idea and attend to something else that pops up. It's pretty hard to take the time to sit down and write a proper entry since I've started working. The main reason of course is coz so many 'entertainment' websites are banned at work so I can't even get onto the blogger site. The other reason is that when I'm at home, I have to tend to hubby and the house. But right now I'm back early from work, the rice is cooking, the dishes ready to be heated up and hubby isn't home from work yet. So here's my chance to write!

So nothing much has been happening. Work is moving along at a very easy going pace. I can grasp all the concepts very quickly and boy, does my mentor set really low expectations for me. I kinda wonder why. I know some of the people on my team are those that are somewhat older and arrived at their position through hard work and by climbing the corporate ladder. Some of them don't even have degrees. It kinda makes me wonder how hard the job really can be. I mean, no lah... I'm not boasting about the fact that I have higher qualifications in terms of formal education, but.... it's one of those jobs that anyone can learn if they really try hard u know? I've told myself... don't complain.... don't complain... In fact I should be thankful. I'm getting paid really well and my benefits are great too... If this is what the stress level is going to be for the rest of my working career, I have nothing to complain about.

Think about it.... if I get pregnant anytime soon, I'm soooo not going to worry about how to juggle my time between work and taking care of myself. And I'm certainly not going to worry about having to stay at work past 5pm to get home and be with my future children. It's a really great place to be to juggle a career and be a mom and wife. And for that I'm really thankful.

So, my team is made up of about oh, I think 13 people including me. There's a guy from France, a girl from China and me who make up the 'foreigners'. Then there's two black ladies (you will not believe how kepoh they are and how different the blacks talk compared to the whites!). Then there's 2 Caucasian ladies, and 6 Caucasian guys. All of them are married except for the French dude. Our manager is South African and is a really nice guy. He's kinda funny sometimes. He'll say the weirdest things about meeting up with him or holding a meeting. Not a typical manager. I kind of get along with the French dude the best only coz he started the same day as I did. Then the other people are friendly to some degree. But most of them are older than me so the types of jokes are somewhat different. I do feel more comfortable talking about families and children with this group of ppl compared to the friends I had in uni who were mostly single and about 2 years younger than me. And as I said, the work itself isn't very hard at all. So far I'm happy.

Well, thats' that.... work I mean. That's all I have to say really. Nuthing much happens so I don't have too much to say about it.

Oops there's hubby back home from work. Better go and tend to him now. I sure miss reading blogs now that I can't access them from home. But if you're still visiting me here, I thank you!

...Then wind

It seems like the weather has something new to offer everyday here. And most of my blog entries have centered around the drive I have to make to work and back. It's not too bad if the drivers on the road are all behaving. It's when you have impatient drivers that zig zag in and out that makes things more stressful. It's a whole lot of chain reaction 'brake'ing and with the huge trucks on the roads too, it's so easy to get involved in a hit. Today the winds are really strong. And so on the way from work I kept feeling my car getting blown to the side everytime there was a gust of wind. It's so annoying coz you have to be really alert and not let the car just do what it wants to do. If there were no other cars on the road, I think it'd be perfectly acceptable to just let your car get blown to the next lane! haha!

Work has been relaxing. Can you believe it? The drive is stressful and the work relaxing. Most people here stick to the 9 hour work day. And so if you get in at 6am, you can leave at 3pm. If you come in at 9am, you leave at 6pm. I really like that. You actually work the time that you're there. In my last workplace, everyone takes a break at 10am, then an hour for lunch, then tea at 4pm. With all the breaks in between, it's no wonder people don't leave the office till close to 7 or 8pm. And overtime is the norm isn't it? I like the fact that my work days can end at 5pm. Then I can come home and actually spend the time cooking dinner and hanging out with hubby. For that I am grateful.

Speaking of which, I'd better get going and get the stove burning. hehe.. Hopefully we can have a nice dinner and oh, maybe watch Grey's Anatomy? woot! woot!

First snow, now ice

Well, the temperature is rising. Now we're averaging -1C instead of -15C. I'm so glad. I couldn't take the snow and cold anymore. But even with the rise in temperature, there's still dangerous spots on the roads - Ice! The snow that piled up over the week has started melting. But because it's still freezing point, the melted snow has turned to ice in some spots. One spot is right outside our apartment building entrance. Haiyo.... hubby and I were dancing like weird people coz we were rushing to get to work and as soon as both of us stepped out the building door, we immediately realized that the puddle of water we were standing in had some ice on the bottom. Jiggle, jiggle, wiggle, wiggle before we found our balance again. Lucky I didn't fall on me tushy. Tsk..tsk...

Thanks for those who voiced their concern over my safety. I really appreciate it. It's almost 10pm now and I gotta get to bed. Yes, I sleep very early now. Only coz I need to leave the house by 6:30am. Or else I get stuck in a horrible traffic jam. 45 minutes of driving is good enough for me. I have no desire to extend it to more than an hour. Plus, if I get early into work, I get to leave early too. So that's nice. :)

2007 Snowstorm

Well well well... we saw a historical event here in Ohio. Non stop snow since Tuesday afternoon. It's 4:26pm on Wednesday and it still hasn't stopped snowing. Schools, businesses and universities are closed and I was told by my manager to stay at home. Actually, my colleague and I called each other this morning pondering whether it was a good idea to go to work or not, and we decided that we wouldn't go. Then an hour later the manager called to check and make sure that I was safe at home and not endangering my life by driving on the icy roads. I'm just glad I got the day off. Only the really important people had to still get to work. Non-emergency personnel all stayed at home.

Our cars are stuck in about ooooh, a foot of snow? Somewhere in the middle of the tyres. The snow plowers have been working all day trying to push the snow to one side. But every time they push it, the wind would blow the snow right back on the plowed area. I don't think salt is being put on the streets either. Apparently if salt is put on the snow, the snow will melt but the temperature will make the melted snow icy again. And yup, that's bad.

So with all the snow around, many people aren't celebrating valentine's day. Some florists are delivering flowers, some aren't. As for me, hubby and I don't observe the holiday. It's not because of the non-islamic part of it, but more due to hubby's belief that love should be shown everyday of the year. Not just one day of the year. When we first got together I always got so envious of my friends who received flowers from their boyfriends while I never received anything. But now I've gotten used to it.

Anyway, we're going to go change the tyres on the car so that I can drive safely to work tomorrow. Should've done that yesterday. But we're procrastinators. And who would've thought that the weather was going to get this bad? We thought winter was almost over!! Snow is so much fun to play in but it's horrible to drive in.

Can't wait for the sunshine.

Crazy Snow

Uwwaaaaa it took me 3 hours to get home from work today (it normally takes 45 mins)!!!!

The snow storm was so bad! I've never been so scared driving in my life! So much for the cute new car. I've now realized that the tyres on my new car are the sporty kind. Yeah, sporty - nice to look at, nice to race in, but not good for driving in the snow at all.

We're actually under a snow storm warning. I was told to leave the office one hour early, but huh - as if it made that much difference. My manager actually left at 2pm!! I should've just left right after him. It's a weird kind of feeling for me. Kinda excited that such a huge winter storm is happening(yes, so huge that even hubby got to leave at 3pm and tomorrow his office is closed!!), but what a horrible emotionally tiring drive it was for me. I couldn't see the lines on the roads, the snow was falling so fast that right after a road was plowed, it was covered right away, and wait for it -- I spun out of control and almost hit the railing!!!! Yes, I was perpendicular to the road! I was reading as many ayats I could remember in my head. I almost wanted to stop at the side of the road and give up driving all the way back home. I just wanted to cry!!! But I persevered and continued my 35kmh drive on the icy road and ignoring the other drivers who obviously had snow tyres on their car coz they were going oh, like 60kmh - just a bit more faster than my little zoom zoom.

Stoopid zoom zoom, with stoopid sporty tyres. I was driving so slow I felt like a snail! And after spinning out, and crawling on the 35 miles road (I swear it took 30 minutes to drive even one mile!), I finally reached home and got stuck in the snow that accumulated around the parking garage!!!!!! The stooopid snow plowers were so useless - they didn't even plow the 2 feet snow around our condo area that I got stuck! Nasib baik for hubby. He took out his handy snow shovel and dug my car out. He got in the driver's seat, slammed on the pedal to accelerate and there was my zoom zoom mazda spinning left and right with the back tires still stuck in the snow. Spin and spin and spin like a little fish with its fins stuck in a mouth of a bigger fist. Finally it got out of the foot deep snow.

Finally my zoom zoom was free from the snow. The snow plow came a bit too late.

Finally!!!! After 3 hours and some minutes later I got to cry in hubby's arms while I thanked Allah for keeping me safe and making sure my zoom zoom car was not damaged. Never again!!!!!! Tomorrow hubby's driving me to work in our Accord. Yes, Accord not sporty, but practical.

The roads may be clearer, but the pathway to the front door was still covered with a foot of snow.

First Day at Work

Penat!!!

I woke up by accident at 4am this morning and couldn't get back to bed. I woke up feeling icky too. It was cold last night, so hubby had us use 3 duvets. I actually woke up sweating coz I was trapped under all that duvet! It was just such an uncomfortable feeling. Especially since when I got out from underneath the duvet, the cold was bighting!

Anyway, I took my shower and hubby went down to heat up my car. Then I drove to work. It only took me 45 minutes coz the traffic wasn't heavy. So I got there at 6:50am. Ok, an hour to kill before checking in with the security desk. So I listened to the radio. Bosan giler.... Plus my perut memulas ok. Luckily there was a private bathroom right next to the security desk. Anyhoo... I ended up having to wait for the other new hire coz he was late. He apparently went in through a different entrance so, my manager came to pick me up first and then we picked up the other new hire. We got our pictures taken for the work tag and then off we went for a tour of the office. Ok, it's huge!!!! There are basically four main building.. and they're all connected through a basement. So you can start walking and walking and before you know it, you're entering a different building without realizing it. Anyway, the manager really took us around. I mean, he showed us everything!! Macam over doing it pulak. In fact, we sat in his office going through all the company policies and core values and filling out forms. Then he took us to lunch which was nice and then one of the team leads took over and set our laptops up. Coolness siot... first day dapat laptop dah. Woot Woot

Anyway, the person who supposed to train us actually took an emergency leave and we ended up having nothing much to do while the team lead tried to figure out how to get us to fill up some of our time. She's pretty hyper and I would love to have her as my team lead. Unfortunately she's moving to a different department next week. Oh well. The other members of the team seem pretty nice. Pretty nice bunch lah.

I'm just tired now. The drive home was so long (about an hour) and then hubby wanted dinner. He had cooked rice so I just heated up some of the leftovers. But I think I'd better cook something tonight so that we have something to eat tomorrow. Then it's an early night to bed tonight. Ngantuk sangat....

All in all the first day was really slow. And my car is so dirty now. Boo hoo...... I just washed and polished it yesterday and now it's covered in dirt! So horrid. Oh well....

Oh yeah, I can't log on to blogger from work. Sucks... can't even log on to gmail. SUCKS! They really control which websites you can and cannot go to! So much for the new laptop. :P

Woopiee!

Alright! I just heard from the finance dude and I've been approved for the auto loan AND the special interest rate! Damn, I could've afforded the upgraded version of the car had I known I was going to be able to get the special interest rate. Hmm... I wonder if it's the same rate throughout the whole duration of the loan though... I'd better go ask them that.

Well, off I go to the dealership. If all goes well, I'll be signing the contracts and driving my brand new pearl white mazda3 hatchback home. Eeeeeeeeek! My first car!

Zoom zoom?

I'm looking at getting this car. In pearl white. And black upholstery. Zoom zoom anyone?

I'm waiting for the financier to call back. He's checking out my credit to see if I qualify for the car or not. I do hope I get it. I'm so worried that I'll be charged a 10% APR rate. Apparently there's a 3.9% APR special... but I heard that only people with perfect credit get this rate. Let's wait...and wait...and wait....

Well, anyway, I tested the car yesterday and I think it's the perfect car! It's not too flashy (not by American standards anyway), has good miles per gallon, is safe, and has loads of space! The glove compartment is so deep that you can even put a laptop in it! Well, that's what it says on the brochure anyway. I didn't have my laptop with me when I was testing out the car so I couldn't test it out. But it was horizontally deep.

And I think the whole half auto half manual transmission bit is really interesting. It's basically an auto transmission. But you can switch the gears to the left and push up to go up one gear and then down to down a gear. And you'll see which gear you're in on the dashboard. Cool eh. I think it'll be nice using that to overtake the massive trucks on the roads here. No more wishing that my car would have more power. hehe...

Ugghhh I'd better stop talking about the car. What if I don't get the loan? Or what if I DO get the loan, but have to pay an immensely high interest rate?! How sucky will that be. I'd better go occupy myself with something else. Else I'll get too excited.

Watch out drivers!

Muahahahaaaa I finally got my driver's license. I had to take the driving portion this morning in the freaking cold!!! With snow on the ground!!! I was confident in driving in the snow until the tester said "It's snowing today so be careful. If you slip, it's an automatic fail". Crap...crap...crap... Thank goodness our tyres were new. The last set of tyres we had could not keep us from slipping all over the snowy, icy roads. Other than that comment I wasn't too worried about anything else. Especially since I got the only male tester at the test center. Hehehehee... I liked him - old, sweet man. He made jokes when he opened the door to the testing center for me this morning. All the other testers looked like they would rather be somewhere else - and they were women. I don't know why, but whenever you put a woman in charge of something they get really authoritative. Whenever I check-in at the airport, the women staff members are always so 'kerek'. They give me a harder time and they're waaaaaaaay too possessive over the little bit of power they have. Even the ones at customs. Oh my gawd!!!! Maybe it's just my experience. And you'd think that other women would give me some sort of friendliness sign. We're all women after all. Shouldn't we stick up for each other? Anyway, I'm not dissing all women in certain powerful positions. Just some. Like, women doctors I like... they're more gentle. And women grocery packers are more likely to pack your groceries properly. And they say friendly greetings. Women post workers are horrible!!! They snarl if you filled out the wrong form and rudely tell you to switch to another line coz they want to take a break. Oh well, nuff said.

So yay, I passed my driver's test with some ease. The only points that were deducted for me was for not making a complete stop at intersections and stop signs. Biasalah.... Malaysian driver kan... can't help but creep creep creep until the end of the curb and make the turn. And apparently there are two types of stop signs here. Hubby didn't know about it either. So can't blame me for not knowing. It wasn't in the study guide. The first type of stop sign has a line at the stop sign and then a cross walk at the curb. You're supposed to stop BEFORE the line (stop meaning complete stop where you can actually count 3, 2, 1 in your head). Then you move up to the curb where the cross walk is to check and see if it's clear (again, you gotta make a full stop to check). If it's clear, you can go. The second type of stop sign doesn't have a line where you should stop. In which case you go right to the end of the curb and make a full stop. Check to see if the road is clear and then proceed. I did everything else properly. Oh, and the officers at the test center are all so nice when you pass the test. Everyone's congratulating you. Almost seems like a huge celebration for anyone to pass. Hehe....

Well, I'm just glad I got the proper license. Now I can go get a new car. woot! woot! And next week I start my first day of work. I hope it'll be exciting and challenging. Oh, and I hope the weather gets warmer by next week too. Enuff of this arctic wind already!!!! It's too cold!! I just told a friend from home that I was chatting to her with two pairs of fleece pants on, two fleece sweaters, a hat, gloves and two pairs of socks. Talk about not wanting to turn the heater on for fear of high gas bills! Thank goodness for $5 Old Navy fleece sweaters and sweats!!! They keep me nice and warm. :)

Brrrrrr.......

Mak ai! Terketar-ketar today the whole day!! Check out the weather temperatures for us today!


Temperature arouns -16 degrees C but it feels like -27 degrees C!!! Everytime the wind blew today, I had to quickly cover any exposed flesh. The cold was bighting! Even my bulu hidung felt like it was frozen!! hehehehehehehehe. I've never felt anything this cold before. It's the first time the temperature's been so low. I'm glad now that I won't start work until a week starting tomorrow. At least I won't get the bone chilling wind and snow while driving up to the office. The office is actually nearer to Lake Eirie so when it's cold, it's REALLY cold over there... and the traffic is crazy with ppl driving more slowly than normal. Brrrr....

I still haven't taken my driver's license test. Was trying out the maneuverability test today but hubby got me so agitated. I was trying to argue that we should use the cones, but he didn't want me to use them. What's the point of practising when I can't even learn to judge the edge of the car so that I don't hit the cones?! Today he said we'd go practice tonight at the empty parking lot near the church here. Tapi now he's sat himself in front of the tv to watch the Super Bowl (the american football final) so I doubt we'll be practicing my driving and maneuvering skills.

Videos from home

Today I received a package from home. Mum had packed together a compilation of DVDs from my brother's wedding. I had been waiting for it for a while now and was excited to watch it. Up to this point I've been able to not get too upset or depressed and sentimental about missing out on attending the ceremonies to welcome a new family member into the family. Even during the conversations I had with relatives at home while they were getting ready for the wedding ceremony were upbeat. I never allowed myself to get emotional. After all, it was a happy occasion!

The strong front I had put up to this day disappeared very quickly as soon as I hit the play button on the DVD. I heard the song that accompanied the clip for the nikah portion, and felt a tug on my heartstrings. The song Kenangan Terindah by the Samsons was a song that I've only recently heard and fell in love with. It reminds me of home (even if the song is actually Indonesian). There aren't a lot of good malay songs, and lesser still malay songs that I get to listen to over here. Anyway, I knew I'd get homesick as soon as I watched the many familiar faces on the tv screen, but the song made me even more uncontrollable. The scenes of my family getting ready for my brother's big day, the scenes of my father saying some words for my brother, the scenes of the masjid, my uncles and aunties and the actual akad were so beautiful and familiar. It made me miss home so much. All the hugs, the salams and smiles made me wish so much that I was back home with them. So much for being strong about the whole thing.

Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony. The decorations were elegant, the speeches eloquent and humorous. My brother got the akad correct the first time and it was funny watching everybody burst out into laughter when the witnesses approved the akad. My brother looked so relieved on camera, his face in a huge smile when he realized he passed the test with flying colors, getting the lafaz correct the first time. Hehe... how nerve racking it is to be the groom!

I do wish though, that the cameraman could have done a better process in editing the video. It's not too bad, but a teeny weeny bit on the amateur-ish side. Some parts are really good, but they could've done just a little bit better. Oh well...

Ooooh now I feel like watching the videos from my wedding. I think I shall spend some time doing that while waiting for hubby to get home from work.

Scores Scmores

So I'm getting over the fact that my credit score isn't very favorable to get a good interest rate when I take out a loan. I can't really blame myself. After all, I've only 2 years worth of credit history anyway. I'll just be more aware of how to make sure that I build a good credit history from now on.

In other news, I'm getting excited about starting work soon. In fact, I'm even more excited coz the first day I start will also be the orientation for new hires! I'll be able to meet up with all the new employees and start off my job with other newbies. How nerve-racking can it be if I was the only person starting on the job while everyone else has made their groups of friends and circles of trust. I'd be the newbie doing all sorts of scut work, while being clueless on whether the person giving me the work actually has the authority to do so or not. It would be a bigger challenge I think if I was the only new hire that everyone could bully. But, that's life and I really am not the type of person people tend to bully anyway. Unless that person is really heartless. Who could bully such a naive-looking, innocent, short and eager to learn girl anyway? *grin*

In other news I'm starting to really like my new sister in law. I've talked on the phone with her when I call home and it's nice to talk to someone eager to chat too. Sounds like my parents are happy with my brother's choice too. They say she has a good influence on him. Not that my brother's all that bad. He's just the one in the family that is actually brave enough to break some rules, like driving the car without permission or staying out till 3am and was the only one in the family who took up smoking . I think most young people do that anyway. Our parents want us to be very obedient children with a clean slate to boost - innocent and all. So him choosing a nice and intelligent girl who has fun but knows her limits is a really good choice. Way to go lil bro. hehe...

Oh man, my stomach is-a-rumbling. Better go get some grub.

Vroom Vroom Vroom?

The thing about living in the US is that credit scores are really important when you want to take out a loan. The higher your credit score, the lower the interest rate will be on your loan. There's this whole mumbo jumbo about how your credit score is calculated. Basically the following information is factored into the final score:

1. How you pay your bills (35% of score)
2. Amount of money you owe and the amount of available credit (30%)
3. Length of credit history (15%)
4. Mix of credit (10%)
5. New credit applications (10%)

Source:Bankrate.com

The credit score ranges from 500 to 900 and graded A to F. Man, how does that feel? Almost like grades in school. Anyway, I was thinking about getting a car. My first real adult purchase and I was curious to see what my score was going to be since I'll have to take out an auto loan to pay for the car. I thought I'd be somewhat average, if not better than average coz I always pay my bills on time (except that one late payment, my fault), and I don't have any loans (like other students who have student loans) to pay off. I even pay my bills in full, not that whole minimum payment stuff. But boy was I wrong. My score is below average and I'm disappointed. Man, so much for getting my score to bring to the dealerships to use it as a tool to bargain my interest rate down. Obviously my credit isn't good so there's not really much to bargain with. But maybe they'd try to make my credit score worse than it really is. At least I have prove to show.

I'll have to talk it over with hubby. I don't know how long it might take to actually improve my credit score. Months? Years? I'd really love to take out a loan with a better interest. Hmph, guess it's all about growing up and being independent huh. But it just makes me so mad that credit scores can really control your life over here. I'm happy that I don't have any bad records (nauzubillah). But I wish I could do so much better.

3bay update

So I finally received a reply from 'the company that suspended my account'. And now I have to give them my full account information, home address, proof that I reside at the address (utility bills/phone bills) and a copy of my ID to prove that I am not the person the company has linked me to. How crappy. They treat me like this and now I have to share with them my personal information?! I'm so reluctant to do it coz I hate having to be so transparent about who I am. Who knows what they can do with the information they have. I already checked that this was not a spoof. But to think that the company has so much power to just suspend anyone they want and then to request for such confidential information is just so disturbing.

I read up online and apparently a LOT of people have had the same problem. The company uses IP addresses as well as home addresses to check for any linkage. So if two different users use the same computer to make a transaction, they're linked even if they're strangers. I realized that hubby's account has also been suspended. Just because we use the same computer, his account has been suspended too. I've read about a whole family having their accounts suspended because of one person in the house. How dumb. It's like saying if one person gets caught drunk driving and has his/her license suspended, everyone else in the car gets their license suspended too.

Hubby and I are thinking about moving to a different company. It's easy for him to say. I've an attachment to this company though because they're so well known and almost everybody goes to that site to make a purchase or a sale! We've had people from Malaysia even buy stuff from us! Urgh.... it's just so depressing.

Anyway on a different note, today my brother and new sister in law had another wedding reception. I just called my mom and she said that everything went well and they showed the video I made for them. hohooo malu nye. I hope it was ok.

Buying and Selling

I've been an *b*y member for more than 2 years now. It's been a hobby for the two of us and we enjoy buying and selling things online. I sell all my used books and sometimes we see really cheap discounted branded clothing here and believe it or not, there are people willing to pay full price for the clothing. It's been fun going around stores to find these cheap stuff and trying them on and modeling them and then selling them to someone who has more money than us and want to look good. But today the company we do our transactions on suspended our account without any notice. No warning at all. Just suspended.

The most horrible thing is that we can only contact them through email. No live chat, no phone number - nadda! It's so frustrating. Emails tend to be ignored. And they take forever to reply. And what normally happens is that you want to reply to the email they send and ask another question, and the email cycle goes on and on! I went onto the forums they have on the site and so many other people have the same problems. Some people have found that it takes more than 3 months to reinstate their accounts! Some members have their accounts suspended many times even though they prove that their transactions have been valid and ill-free!

It's so hard to get mad with a computer! I feel like screaming to someone on the phone. All that hard work to make sure that our feedback was positive, that we followed their rules, to make sure our customers were happy - even the hard customers. All those times we had to take in losses when the post didn't do a good job delivering a package! It's been so rewarding making the odd $50 here and there. It's been such a learning experience for us. But in the end the big company can do anything they want. When someone who's had 7 negative feedbacks wins our item and is obviously a fraud, we don't get the money the company has taken from us for the sale. Nooooooo it takes them weeks and multiple emails to them before we get our money back. Those 7 negative feedback members are the ones that should be suspended! Not me! F*ck those companies who think they're all that and are making money off of us who are just doing this as a hobby.

In the end it makes me feel so small and insignificant. It makes me want to strive to be a person with more power so people can't tell me how to do things when it's obviously legal and ethical. Benci tau!

Sirih Pinang

There's been a big milestone back home. Today my parents welcome their first daughter in law into the family. The last wedding in the family was mine, a few years ago. Sadly I was unable to be a part of the current celebrations, except by sending home a video greeting and by helping out with the presentation during the wedding reception.

I hear the joy in my parent's voice when they tell me about the marriage. It seems quite different from the expression that they had when I got married. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, and well, my brother's a boy. People have said it's harder to give your daughter away to marriage. Maybe it seemed like they were losing me to my husband, instead of them getting a new son in law. In way, it's been somewhat true as I've uprooted myself from my home to be with my husband in a land far away from my family. I've been home a few times, but a trip is long overdue. So many cousins have given birth, so many of them have gotten married and we need to make sure that our relatives realize that we have not forgotten about them.

Nevertheless, I'm ecstatic to welcome a sister into the family. She's always been sweet and comes across as a very nice person. I haven't had the chance to sit down for a long chat and to get to know her because when I left Malaysia she and my brother were still a few years into their relationship. She was also studying overseas at the time so I only saw her once a in a while, during her breaks and only during those times she and my brother spent at home. Most of the time they were out with their friends.

Anyway, I'm very surprised that I'm not as emotional as I thought I would be for not being back home for this new chapter of our family's life. My friends and relatives have been surprisingly understanding by accepting my absence at the wedding reception without any questions. I do hope my life will settle down and stabilize so I will be able to travel when I want to and not only when I have the necessary approval papers.

Becks coming to America

woot! woot! It'd be nice to see more of the hot football (soccer if you're in the US) star. Who cares if most people think he's past his prime. He's still good looking and fun to watch.

I heard he's going to earn $1 m a week. Sheash... if only earning that much money is easy to achieve.

Bet HE won't have any trouble getting a work visa or green card like other mortals. Hmph.

More on his move here.

under the weather

I'm not feeling too well. Itchy throat and stuffy nose. Still I was trying to clean up our home. It was getting way too dusty. But I had to stop. The dust made my nose and throat even more irritated. I couldn't stop sneezing.

Hubby is on call so I haven't seen him since yesterday. When I was still studying I would use the time to catch up on studying.. I didn't have to worry about meals nor drinks every few hours. I would sit in front of my computer for hours at a time just reading the journals I needed to cover or writing the assignments I needed to complete. Meals were short and easy. I didn't need to spend hours in the kitchen cooking and setting the table for meals and then clearing it up. All I needed was a pot of coffee which would last the whole day and sandwiches for lunch and dinner. Sometimes I would eat the leftover meals from previous meals. I could take long showers pruning and primping myself. I liked those times.

Now that I'm on a short break, I feel really lonely. It's weird not having him at home. It's even worse now coz I feel so sick and I wish he was here to take care of me. Hopefully I'll get better. It's crappy getting a headache staring at the computer screen or the tv.

Well, I should get dinner going. Hubby will want his big portion of rice, chicken and vege.

Eid Mubarak

Ok, so this post may be a little bit late. After all, it came before new years and I already have my new year's post up. I thought to myself that I didn't want to rush the post for Eid Adha and so, here I am writing about Eid.

Compared to the last Eid we celebrated (for Raya Puasa), this celebration was a whole lot better. The main reason is because we were able to celebrate it with family. When I made plans to visit the in-laws over hubby's new year vacation, I didn't care how expensive the flight tickets were going to be (they were $508.60 a piece due to the new year rates). I knew it would be a great holiday. Especially since hubby rarely gets vacation. Most of the time he has to work on public holidays. And he only gets time off when he requests for it, which is such a hassle coz you have to request it 2 months in advance. Hubby isn't a big planner.

Anyway, it's been a long time since I donned my baju kurung. Over here I would dress up, but very rarely in baju kurung. It's too cold. Plus I didn't feel like being the only person in baju kurung since there are no other malays at the masjid we go to. So I sifted through the ones that I had in my closet to find which ones still fit. I was so freaked out because all but one of my traditional outfits still fit! I knew I gained 15 pounds over the past 2 years, but to think that none of my nice traditional outfits fit me made me so depressed! I think it was a wake up call for me to watch my weight. I still get all creepy thinking about it now. Luckily I have *ehem ... bigger and looser outfits at my in-laws house. I had left them there two years ago thinking that those didn't look too good on me anymore because I was so tiny then. I still can't believe 15 pounds can make that much of a difference! Haiye....

We celebrated eid on Saturday instead of Sunday. The prayers were held in the downtown convention center since the islamic center where the in-laws live could not accomodate the thousands of people who were going to perform the prayers. In fact, there were 2 prayers on that day. We attended the first round at 8:30am and by 10am we were asked to leave the hall to make way for the second group of people. The prayer was short, the qutbah straight to the point and brief and the breakfast superb (starbucks coffee and donuts! - Take that for a hari raya breakfast!). After prayers we went to the Malaysian community eid open house. It was nice meeting up with all the other malaysians. Everyone had nice congratulatory wishes for me since mum-in-law had basically broadcast the fact that I had graduated and did so with a job offer. Alamak malu lah. Macam menunjuk2 pulak. But I think she was just proud of me. The rest of the day was spent at home where we had our own little raya feast.

I'm so glad that we were able to celebrate such a special occasion with family this time around. And it's so so nice to be able to properly celebrate eid the whole day with hubby. If we had stayed here we would have probably spent only the morning at the masjid and then do our own thing later in the day. The day came and went so quickly too that I didn't have time to feel homesick or wallow in depression knowing that my family back home were celebrating eid to the max while I was alone with hubby. I think having any type of family around you helps make the holidays a more cheerful occasion. MIL and FIL had a nice conversation with hubby too, stressing the importance of observing our holy celebrations and to try to take time off from work to celebrate the different occasions. Hopefully when hubby is finished with his training and can be more flexible with his work hours, we'll be able to spend eid with his parents more often.

I hope everyone else had a good celebration too, being with family or not. Eid Mubarak to all

Pics

I promised to put up pictures. And here are the better ones that came out. Actually most of them turned out really dark. I'm quite disappointed but hey, at least we have some pics. :)

Here's Las Vegas at around 4:30pm in the evening. The streets were still open and we were able to park our car at Mandalay Bay, which is one of the hotels that is closest to the end of the strip.

This was taken after we had dinner. The sun had just set and the roads were closed so I was able to stand in the middle of the otherwise busy street and snap a picture of the strip. The hotels on the strip are all 'themed' and each one boasts very intricate designs. I love the mock Eiffel Tower of the Paris Hotel. :)

By 11pm we were standing in the front of the barricades the police had set up. Across the street was a band performing on stage. We didn't want to get crushed by drunken people, so we stood on the other side of the street.


The countdown began at 20! Luckily there was a screen right in front of us.


I could've sworn that the fireworks started before the countdown reached '0'. Very odd timing.

A very diverse group of people rang in the new year with screams and laughter. I'm amazed at the diversity of people working and touring this city. But no matter what, you'll always get people who walk in big groups and search for people they can taunt. It's the same everywhere.


One of three firework displays that we were able to watch from where we were standing. The other two were right in front of us and and behind us.


The cleaners were all waiting to get into the strip as soon as the fireworks stopped. As people started walking away from the strip, they came in and started cleaning up.

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Peek-a-boo

I've been missing for a while. Ever since the semester ended I haven't been posting the 'at-least-once-a-week-' promise I made to my blog. Guess the change in schedule and responsibilities since I finished with university has made me a little bit on the lazy side.

Plus I went through a bout of mild depression. I was disappointed to learn the advice my international officer gave to me about leaving the country for a vacation was wrong. So now I can't fulfill my plans to spend a bit of time with my family back home. I'm glad my family understands. It might be a year before I get to see them again. Sigh...

But life has to go on and I can't wallow in my sorrow. A trip to visit the in-laws helped lift my spirits. Hubby managed to get a 5 day vacation and we took the opportunity to spend raya haji (eid) and the new year with family members. I'm still here with them. We're flying back to our home later tonight. It's been so much fun. MIL has been feeding us non stop and I'm too scared to weigh myself. I'm sure we've gained at least 5 pounds each. The first day we arrived we had daging masak kicap, udang goreng, sambal belacan, kari ayam and loads of salad. As usual MIL cooks waaaaay too much for all of us. We have the leftovers from that meal still in the fridge (it's been 3 days!). The second day we went for Persian food. They're serving is way over the top too. Then we had a hari raya bbq since we had all the normal raya food at other msian houses on the morning of raya. Steak for each person, 2 pieces of lamb chops each, potato salad (from 10 potatoes!), 2 types of salad, baked cauliflower and two types of desserts! Tak larat nak makan ok. But it was soooo good! We were so full that we felt sleepy by 10pm and went to bed early. MIL and FIL stayed up to watch a movie.

The next day was new year's eve. We decided at the last minute to usher the new year in Vegas. So off we drove to Vegas. We had an early dinner (started lining up at the buffet at 4:45pm and got seats at 5:15pm. Duduk makan, tak ingat dunia! The buffet at Vegas is always so superb. Especially since the variety is plenty. Normally a lot of places don't have a lot of seafood so I don't enjoy eating (since the poultry and meare not halal). But this was gooood! I even had cotton candy. hehehehe.. imagine cotton candy at a buffet. I felt like a kid again! :p

Anyway, right now I'm waiting for the dryer to end so that I can pack all our clean clothes into our luggage to bring back home. That way I won't have to do them at home. How nice right?

Woops hubby is calling. I'd better go see what he needs. I'll try to post some of the pics we took on our trip to Vegas sometime soon. Till then, Happy New Year everyone!