No snow

It's been such a mild winter. We had the snow storm that one week a month ago. And now we're back to rain and more rain. It didn't even snow on xmas so a lot of friends I spoke to were upset. I suppose it doesn't feel like xmas when there's no snow outside.

Anyway, I've been lazing around some more at home. I've occupied myself with learning how to use Adobe Premiere. It seems like such a neat software to create videos with. I haven't finished the chores that I'm supposed to have finished a few days ago. I had planned to get everything in order - clean out the closet to throw out things we don't need and arrange our clothes into our new dresser. All this I wanted to finish before my trip back to KL. But now it looks like my trip may have to be canceled due to bureaucracy issues. Soooooooooooooooooooo malas lah jawabnya.I can't get excited at all and I'm feeling very unmotivated. I've gone through all the avenues to ask for advice but it looks like if I know what's good for myself, I shouldn't take unnecessary steps which might jeopardize my status here. I can't wait for everything to go through and get approved. I always say.... takpe. No matter how hard it is for me, orang asing kat Malaysia tuh lagi susah nak dapat permit. At least over here there's a transparent system.

I miss hearing from sunshine my best friend. She just had a baby and is spending her first month at her mom's place. So she doesn't have internet access. Not that she would be able to write long emails and chat with me if she did have an internet access. I keep thinking about calling her but I don't want to disturb her. I know for sure she'd be so busy with her new baby. I can't wait to see pictures of the baby. No one has been able to send me any coz they're all busy. And the one other friend I can normally depend on for up to date pictures, is not in KL either. She has family obligations out of KL.

So I don't start my full time job until February. Till then, ugh, I hope I don't get too bored.

Back again

So, here I am back again at the computer without any pressing work with deadlines. How odd it feels. After the in-laws left I spent my free time doing the multiple loads of laundry while watching tv and taking breaks in between for a drink or a meal. Life has gone back to normal almost too quickly and no matter how much I loved the celebrations I had with the in-laws and hubby over the weekend, I feel like I cut the celebrations off way too soon.

It feels so odd that I didn't have a bigger celebration at the end of my graduation. Oh sure, I went out with hubby and the in-laws for a celebration but I was missing something. I kept thinking that if I was back in KL I'd be celebrating with my friends with dinners night after night. I just realized that I've kept to myself so much throughout my years at the university that I didn't have any real close friends to celebrate with. The one or two close friends that I have already had other plans in place. Some of them have decided to go traveling what with the winter break. That just shows how close our friendship really is. I've kept away from being too close to anyone coz I've spent most of my time with hubby. It's just been easier coz hubby always has an agenda and it's hard to get others to join us for an outing. Things just take a little bit longer when the number of people increases in an outing. More people equals more minds which equals to more ideas on what one wants to do. Rather than taking the time to agree (or in some cases relent to what others want to do), hubby would rather do what he wants to do. And sometimes he lets me decide what I want to do. We just know each other's needs and habits that we end up being more comfortable just spending time with each other only and maybe visit one or two friends once every two weeks.

So now that I want to celebrate my successes I can't expect anyone else to want to spend time with me since I almost always turn down their invitations to a movie or a dinner outing. Can't blame them really. Can't blame myself either. Most of my friends at the university are single and sometimes being the only couple doesn't help. No one likes a pair of lovebirds who can't help but stick to each other even when there are so many other people around them. Can't help it ok. When a Cambodian husband and wife couple were around, it was fun hanging out with them. Hubby was also happy to spend time with the couple. But now they're back in their home country.

I shouldn't be complaining. I have to start my little project I am doing for my brother's wedding that is coming up. But I just feel sooooooo lazy. Ugh.. bad Leo... bad bad Leo!

Oh alright, I'll go do that now. Better than writing mindless entries into my blog. :p

What a weekend!

Boy this weekend flew by really quickly. My in-laws flew in on Thursday after I finished up the last of my duties at the GA office on campus. I rushed home at noon to clean up the house coz I had no time at all in the past 2 weeks to clean anything. Seriously, we had worn every single clothing we had, the bathrooms were starting to grow mold and mildew, there was an inch of dust on top of the dining table, the floor and the coffee table, and the fridge was filled with weeks-old food that needed to be thrown out. I scrambled to get as much cleaning as I could. The guest room had to be scrubbed, vacuumed, mopped as well as the guest bathroom. the kitchen was relatively clean coz that's the only room in the house that I can't let go too badly. It's too disgusting for me. Anyway, after scrubbing away, I realized I had to quickly go to the airport to pick them up. Luckily the in-laws are very understanding and I get along very well with them. Mum in law actually helped cook later that night. Hubby was helping out too, by attacking the laundry that was piling up. Our own bedroom though was a different story. It was in a complete mess! I literally shoved all the junk that was in the guest room into our own bedroom so we had tons of files, papers, bags and what-not.

Anyway, it was just nice having them around. My parents were unable to make the long journey from Malaysia to attend my graduation. At least I had some family here. The ceremony itself was great - it went off without a hitch, except apparently I walked too fast on stage that hubby said he couldn't get a picture of me. Yeah rite. This picture looks absolutely fine to me.


Anyway, the rest of the weekend was filled with antique shopping. MIL loves to shop for antiques. Kita ikut sajalah. Tak reti nak appreciate. All in all it was just a whole lotta fun. I'm just so happy that I managed to finish my masters and I have a job offer waiting for me. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

I kind of wish that my family could've come over to watch me graduate. At first I was OK with them not being around. But then the night before the ceremony I felt really lonely. I didn't have my really best friends around me to celebrate this achievement with. And I didn't have my own family either. They made up for it by sending roses the day of the event though. It was a really pleasant surprise.

Now that I'm back at home from sending the in-laws to the airport, it's back to normal for hubby and I. Now I gotta make sure I have all the necessary paperwork to proceed to the next chapter of my life.

I'm going to be a corporate lady! wooohoo! And maybe now we can think about having children? heeeeeeeeeeee

Another milestone in my life

I just got a call from the company I interviewed with last week and I've been offered a job there! I can't help but feel so good about it. I've been so stressed out over the job hunt and I've been rejected by so many other companies. This company seemed like the last choice I had. I was going to have to rethink my career plans coz if I didn't get this job, the whole visa issue would force me to leave. Anyway, I'm feeling really good because this is the only job I really really wanted. The company is one that is performing well in this area, the job responsibilities are exactly what I like (read: no programming!), the benefits are great, the pay is great and most of all, I did it without pulling any strings or use any contacts. All my life I've always had someone (read:daddy) help me get a position in a particular company. Or I always had to do something coz daddy wanted me to do it. And if I didn't take the opportunity, I would be left with nothing. This time, I had to work on my own, prove my worth on my own and go through all the stresses that one goes through all by myself.

Of course the experiences I had at the companies that I got into because of my dad helped in my job search too. So my dad definitely opened some doors for me. I'll be forever grateful.

Alhamdulillah I thank God so much for giving me this opportunity. For rewarding me so greatly and for keeping me strong throughout the process that crushed me to pieces.

(hoho.. dramatic lah pulak)

life and death

As the life of a newborn baby arrives in my circle of friends, a death in the family occurred in another.

And as a close friend, I can only give them my support from afar. But it's hard when you don't want to impose on their time as they share the good and bad with their immediate family.

Kinda feels odd to be watching this from afar and from the outside.

I suppose with the fact that I'm thousands of miles away, it cannot be helped.

Last week of the semester

Argh one more week to the end of the semester.

5 hours work on Monday
Exams on Monday
Project due Monday
Individual paper due Monday
Exams on Wednesday

In-laws flying in on Thursday.

House in mess! No sleep for me this week. :(

What else could go wrong?

I had my 2 day interview event yesterday and today. A combination of things happening in my life just made the whole experience more interesting than I would have wished for. There was a snow storm, I was trying to finish my projects and study for my exam and prepare for the interview at the same time. It was so stressful.

I needed to leave earlier than anticipated to take the snow storm into account for the drive. Snowstorms here really make a drive anywhere longer than usual. The roads are icy, your vision is decreased and sometimes the winds can be really strong. Did I leave on time? Noooo.. of course not.

I had started driving when I realized I accidentally left the directions at home. I turned around to get that. Once I got my directions I had to fill up gas but the fuel tank opening was frozen shut!!! I tried to scrape the ice off but was worried that I'd key the car on accident, I took my gloves off and started picking with my fingers. That didn't work, either. And in my excitement to get the ice off, I nicked my finger. I didn't realize it at first until I saw blood oozing down my finger. I wiped it away thinking that it was a small cut and proceeded to ask for help to get the fuel tank open. The guy who helped me just banged on the door so the ice could dislodge. And woop dee doo, the door opened and I could start refuelling. But the finger was still bleeding!! I couldn't believe it. There was so much blood. I swear there was frozen blood all over the little knob you twist off to refuel the car. I didn't have a band aid nor did I have any paper towels in the car. I wrapped my finger up with a piece of cloth that was in the car and started to drive away coz I was really going to be late. I realized after a full two minutes that I really needed to get a band aid on my finger coz it wouldn't stop bleeding! I saw a motel and actually drove in to ask the front desk if they had a band aid. Luckily they were nice enough to give me one. So ok, finger still intact, now the drive.

And oh my goodness what a drive it was! Everyone was driving slow coz the roads were just so slippery. Then my windshield got so dirty that I had to hunk down in my seat to actually see through a clearer part of the windshield. When I got to the hotel the company put us up in, I was given a smoking room, which was NOT what I asked for. So I had to spend a little bit more time switching rooms. Finally I managed to settle down and freshen up. phew. The rest of the night went well, just had our dinner with the managers and other candidates. Couldn't really eat much coz you're trying to talk at the same time. I actually went to bed feeling quite hungry but I didn't want to go out to eat. It was still snowing really heavily!

Anyway, while preparing to turn in for the night I realized I had left my suit for the interview the next morning at home!! I swear I'm losing my mind. I seriously am. I don't know why I'm getting so absentminded. Hubby had to drive in the snow to send the suit over to me. Poor guy. I was just feeling really down that so many bad things had happened. But I thought, it couldn't get any worse.

The sleep wasn't all that comfortable. I woke up at 6am to get ready for the full day interview activities at the company. That part went well though. I actually had quite a lot of fun meeting the other candidates and doing my interviews. We got a tour of the company too and got to speak to new college-hires. But it was draining. We were shuttled from one room to another and stopped briefly for lunch. I gotta say though, the company treated us all really well. I can't believe how much they spent to put us all up at the hotel and to shuttle us to and fro in limos. Giler you.... rasa macam celebrity! Even if I don't get the job, I know I managed to learn more about how other candidates handle themselves at interviews and it's good to see the people you are up against in the flesh. And to think that we were all able to get along despite the fact that we were competing for the same job.

Anyway, tonight hubby is working the night shift. sucky.... Two nights alone. sob.....

You got the white xmas you wished for!

So two days after the first real snow fall of the season, we are now under a snow storm watch. That means you're supposed to stay indoors if you don't need to venture out and if you do venture outside, drive carefully. The snow plows are out in mighty numbers and I think I see the snow plower dude who does our area plowing the snow for the second time today! And it's only 11:30am.

Looks like someone's making extra money this winter. I've never seen the snow plow contraption on an SUV before. Normally they're on trucks!

Normally I don't care too much about snow storms. I just stay indoors and fire up the kitchen to stay warm. Nothing like a good pot of stew on a cold day like this. Plus I don't have to switch the heater on coz I'm already warm just standing in front of the stove.

Anyway, today is a different story though coz I have to actually attend a two day interview at a company about 40 minutes away from here. Yeah yeah, so they're putting us up in a hotel and paying for our travel expenses but I'm so not looking forward to the drive!!! waaaaaaaaa! :( I went out for just a bit this morning and already I could feel the car tyres not having enough traction on the road when I make turns. It looks like I'll have to leave an hour earlier to make sure that I can make the slow but careful drive there. It's going to be weird being away from hubby tonight. We haven't been apart from each other other than when I went to visit Malaysia alone two years ago.

So I hope the interview won't be too much of a disaster for me. It's so horrible to spend so much time preparing myself mentally and physically for these interviews. When I get a rejection it breaks my spirit. So it's supposed to be a learning experience. But it just makes me feel so inadequate when I get the same "we do not have any current opportunities for you".

Well, just gotta move forward. Next week I have 3 final exams. And then my graduation ceremony to attend. How come everyone else is happier than I am that I'm graduating? Maybe it's coz I don't have a job yet.

It's a boy!

Congratulations to my best buddy Sunshine and her husband on the birth of their baby boy on Dec 5th 2006. Sigh.... the birth of a baby is always a happy occasion! I just wish I could've been there for them. Alas I live thousands of miles away. Luckily we have another close friend who was able to be at the clinic during the birth and sms me with updates. I have so much admiration for Sunshine. She has had to endure a painful surgery about 4 years ago and it made having babies a little bit complicated. We even had a joke that if she couldn't carry a baby on her own, she wanted me to carry the baby for her. hohoooo masa tu sanggup buat apa saja untuk kawan! Actually I would probably still do it if she needed me to be a surrogate. But, I think I would ask her to wait until I've had my own child first. But she did it all by herself! She had to go through surgery to get the baby out coz the doctors said it was too risky delivering it naturally, but she did it! I'm so proud of her. She's going to be such a great mom. I can't wait to see the baby when I am back in Malaysia.

*****************

It's still snowing. Can you tell?

The first real snowfall of the season arrived today. We were so ill-prepared that we couldn't find the snow scraper that one uses to push the snow off the car and then scrape the ice of the windows of the car. Hubby ended up using a broom. Thank goodness it was dark and nobody saw. hehehehee it was hilarious! Today we'll have to rummage through the garage to locate the snow scraper.

Big Feet

It's so hard for me to find shoes that fit well and look nice. I have really big feet for my body size. I remember when I was growing up, all my uncles and aunties would say that I would grow up to be a really tall young lady because I had big feet. Aiyoo...even at that age my feet were already disproportionate to my body. On top of having big feet, I have this weird short toe. My third toe is shorter than my second and fourth toe so it looks really odd. Apparently it's some medical condition, I can't remember the name at the moment. But it's not detrimental to my health.

Anyway, searching for shoes is such a challenge for me!! Length-wise, I'm a size US7 or US7.5, but width wise, I feel like I'm more a size US8! Basically I have to look for wide shoes in 7.5 but it's not as easy at it seems. With so many choices of shoes out there, its still hard for me to find a pair that looks nice and feels comfortable. Yesterday I tried shopping for shoes. I can't believe it took me a whole half day trying to look for a nice pair of 'interview' shoes and another pair of 'dinner' shoes. Especially now with the pointy shoe trend.... oh gawd! I can't even fit the widest part of my foot into the opening of the shoe. I really think that the shape of my feet are weird too. When I wear those really high heeled shoes, it's hard for me to find a pair that will support the arch under my foot. If that part isn't supported, there is no way I can walk many hours in the pair of shoes. Even when I do find a comfortable pair, sometimes I still feel like my toes have been pinched, even when the shoes are actually comfortable. Maybe there's just something wrong with them.

When I try to get strappy high-heels, it's even worse. The bones on the side of my feet jut out and if the strappy parts aren't weaved in the right way, the bones will somehow make squeeze through the holes from the patterns in the strap and jut out a little bit more than it really should. Such a horror for me. And don't tell me to get a bigger size coz when I get a bigger size, it's way to big and the whole shoe starts flopping around and threatens to fall off my feet when I walk.

See what I mean about the jutting bone?

I really feel like getting my feet surgically corrected. Not because I want it to look nice, but because I want to feel more comfortable after standing on my feet for hours. Someone told me I should get expensive italian shoes coz those are the most comfortable. I doubt it'll be comfortable for me though. Anyhoo, I'm just being silly and asking for things that I don't even really need. heheee

Chr!st!an News Network

Yesterday as I was surfing through the different channels on tv, I came across a news program. The newscaster had just begun to talk about the birthrate of muslims in Germany. "Interesting," I thought so I stayed on that channel to listen to what the newscaster had to report. I didn't realize at first that it was one of those chr!st!an channels. I only started being suspicious when the news item of the increasing birthrate of muslims included a view about how the population of muslims will be of multiple times the number of chritians in Germany by mid-century. "Urk? Apa objektif berita nih?" I thought to myself. The news than turned to some kind of preacher or host of some talk show and he went on to say that if the ever rising birthrate of muslims are allowed to happen, the western world could be in danger as Germany as a country is capable of nuclear power and invading other countries. He asked all his viewers to imagine what the country would be like if muslims took over a country that had been for many many years, unofficially chr!st!an. He said that they could not let that happen and that things need to be done to stop such an 'invasion' from happening. Oh my gawd!!! Why so extreme? I couldn't close my gaping mouth. I knew that there were some really intense and almost very closed-minded religious people here. And I am sure they watch the type of news that I came across all the time. The media can really distort a person's view of something. And to think that they think that our religion is extreme?! It's so sad. Really it is. I was just so shocked that I had to get it out of my system and onto my blog.

3 weeks to go

So three weeks left in the semester. Sigh, so many things to do. So many things to think about. Two days ago I received another rejection from a company that I interviewed with. I know it's not due to my academics and qualifications. I'm always referred a company by a professor. When I ask if I have a chance at getting the job during the interview, most of the time I hear that I have very good work experience and that my academics are good too. I'm a lot better than most of the other students they've interviewed here, they would say. So why on earth do I get pushed aside when it comes to the final part!? I know it's because of my visa status I just know it. Kalau ada local graduate, they'd rather hire the local grad even if a foreign grad is more qualified. Sakit hati tau.

Some Malaysians would ask, why am I not leaving to go back to my home country. Some people say, dah lupa diri... Malaysia is not good enough. But that's not the case. I'm with my husband. He and I are every bit Malaysian as other Malaysians - maybe even more because when one is outside his or her home country, he/she tends to keep the malay culture that they know as alive as they possibly can. Orang kat Malaysia pulak yang nak jadi westernized. It doesn't matter what the choices in my life have been. I'm just really bummed out that it's not as easy a ride as most people think it is. We're the minority here. We have to work so much harder to prove that we're as qualified or even better than other people here. It's such a challenge. Yes, yes, I'm whining. I really shouldn't.

Anyway, I'm thinking about doing another masters degree while I'm here. By the time habis, rasa-rasanya dah boleh dapat PR. That way I won't have such a disadvantage when competing for jobs. What's another year of studies anyway. As for now, I'll just concentrate on finishing up this masters degree and making sure that I don't slack more than I already am.

No matter how much my plans are not working out, I should still be thankful. Yesterday I saw a sales assistant crying on a customer's shoulder. I overheard her telling the customer that she had just been fired and that she didn't know what to do since it's almost xmas and she has so many bills to pay. She seemed really upset too that she would leave the store that she had learnt to love, her co-workers that had treated her so well and the regular customers that she normally interacted with. I felt so kesian coz there I was feeling sorry for myself that my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to when I really shouldn't coz I have so many security blankets to fall back upon. We could move back with our parents (either one would take us under their wings in a heartbeat if we asked), we could go back to Malaysia where we have so many friends and contacts that could help us get a job and we have the savings account we built together in the event either one of us lost our income. We have our health, we have each other's love and I'm glad my eyes were opened yesterday.

Black Friday

"Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving in the United States, is historically the busiest retail shopping day of the year. Many consider it the "official" beginning to the Christmas season. Most retailers will open very early and usually provide massive discounts on their products, and offer door buster deals to draw people to their stores"

source: wikipedia

Oh my goodness.... my body clock is so out of whack. It started on Wednesday night when hubby and I were invited to a friend's house. We got home pretty late and I was unable to sleep. I had the worst case of indigestion since I was a child. The pain was so bad that I was actually woken up in the middle of the night with the pain. Times like this I am so grateful for hubby's medical background and his patience. He stayed awake with me and treated me till I felt better. By that time, the sun was starting to rise but we were only going to bed. We slept in till noon.

During the day I felt sort of jet-lagged. Every time I tried to read or do some work, I felt nauseous. We ended up taking a nap in the evening. I wasn't really looking forward to the plans we had made to join in on the annual black friday (see definition above). Hubby was excited to see the many electronics items that were on sale. A kodak 6.1 megapixel camera was selling for $98 from a regular price of $150, and ipod dock was only $28, an LCD tv was selling for only $179 from their retail price of $349.99. The factory outlet where we normally shop was opening at midnight and was having discounts on top of the normal sales too. So we dressed up for the cold and headed to the factory outlet. But 2 miles before the exit to the factory outlet, the freeway was jam-packed with cars!! It took us 30 minutes just to get 5 inches ahead of where we were. Other cars were cutting in front of us and not waiting in line. I had a feeling that there were probably no parking left at the factory outlet and even if we did get to the outlet to shop, all the good deals would've been gone! Sorry as I felt, we had to turn around which was actually harder than we thought it was going to be. The other side of the freeway was worse than the side we were on. But because there was no other way to get back home, we spent an hour an a half in the traffic jam to get back home.

Today I read in the papers that a lot of ppl were walking from the freeway to just go to the outlet while the driver of the car tried to get their cars off the freeway and into the parking lot of the factory outlet. So much for getting a good deal. Poor hubby had to drive all those hours though. He still didn't want to give up and we actually stopped at the local department store that were having a lot of discounted electronics store. The store was opening at 6am and we got to the store's parking lot at 3am. There was one guy sleeping in front of the store so we joined in the line behind him. I was so sleepy and cold. Hubby had to endure my whining and requests for him to keep my warm. While waiting, we leaved through the store catalog to see the stuff that was worth buying:

But it was sooooo wet and cold. The temperature was not that cold really, but there was a really dense fog. And after an hour or so out in the fog, I started feeling like there were beads of water forming on my face and on my nose. I kinda got cranky coz it was cold and wet. I got even more cranky when three women suddenly joined the one man who was in front of us, half an hour before the store was due to open. Hello.... we've been waiting in line for 3 hours in the cold and fog and u just get in front of us like it's your right because one person saved a spot in line for your whole family?! Pissed off ok. Some women behind us made comments like "How much did you pay him to hold your spot in line?" And the lady who just joined the line then quipped back "Oh we're related." As if that justifies her cutting in line front of us. I muttered "Oh yeah, but we've been waiting out here all night while you stayed in the warm van of yours." They gave me dirty looks but didn't say anything. Obviously they knew they were in the wrong. I think if it wasn't for people like them, fights for the limited cheap items wouldn't occur. There wasn't a fight for items inside the store. But just having those ladies cut in line really made me want to get ahead of them for the items that were sold. I didn't care if the ladies got their stuff or not. In fact, when we were all walking towards the electronics section of the store, I heard the woman who cut our line say "If I don't get what I want I'm going to kill all of you." It almost sounded like she was laughing but obviously she meant what she said. Or else, she wouldn't even say it right? Yeah, lady go kill people for things you don't get!

Hubby and I just snaked around the aisles, grabbed the stuff we wanted and left very quickly. Quick and simple. Luckily I'm small and almost invisible. I could really make my way around all these other people and just grab the stuff that I wanted. We left and were happy with our purchase. Other people were still waiting for special electronics that were behind the counter.

Arriving home at 6:30am with our purchases, I thought to myself - how on earth did I get myself involved with the madness of shopping here in the US. I almost feel like I shouldn't even be involved in all the rush for cheap stuff coz I definitely don't need any christmas presents and I'm not buying any chistmas presents for anyone else. I'm feeling so jet lagged coz of the lack of sleep and I so want to just focus on my school work. But it makes hubby so happy that I want to be by his side and get all the stuff we can get our hands on. And I have to admit the part where we rush into the store and get the items we want is exciting. I just wish I didn't need to wait 3 hours in front of the store to get the item though. penat lah.....

For now, I'm just resting at home, nursing the jet lag. Hubby is at work believe it or not and is on call tonight. I just hope he gets some rest and short power naps. Or else he would be up for 36 hours straight. Not good...

Concrete pavement arthritis

That's what I heard a lot of people complaining of having while waiting for the new Nintendo Wii. What on earth is that anyway? Oh, it's the pain you get when your bones are squashed against the cold concrete floor. Its the pain you feel when the cold of the floor seeps into your body even when you have multiple layers of clothing on. It's silly actually.

If you can't tell yet, Yup yup... we actually camped for a night to get our hands on the new game console. The lines for the PS3 were set up days in advance. But the line for the Nintendo Wii began around 12 hours before the launch of the sale. So hubby and I packed some sandwiches, brought two tumblers of hot coffee, some bananas, some chips, a sleeping bag, 3 blankets and homework/paperwork with us to the local store. We settled ourselves behind two groups of boys who had brought foldable chairs which I think was quite a good idea actually. The temperature was around 5°C and dropped to about 2°C by 2am. Since we were lying down on our blankets which were on top of the concrete floor, you could feel the cold seeping in through the many layers and hitting our skin. Brrrr it was cold! I stayed up till about 12am just finishing my homework and chatting with the girl who was next to me in line. The guys at the front of the line had to answer the same questions that the shoppers who were still going in and out of the store were asking.

Shopper1: Are you guys waiting for the PS3?
Guys in line: No, the Wii (pronounced 'we' if you didn't know).
Shopper1: Really? How long have you been here?
Guys in line: 45 minutes.
Shopper1: Oh, (with a disappointed look on his face). Well, that's not long. Good luck!

Shopper2: Oh My GAWD! Are you all sleeping outside the store tonight for some game?
Guys in line: Yeah.
Shopper2: You're crazy!
Guys in line: Well, you're fat.
Shopper2 stomped away but didn't hear the remark.

Shopper3: U boys waiting for the Wii?
Guys in line: Yeah! The WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Shopper3: That's cool. (sees some of the donuts the boys had). Hey can I have one of those?
Guys in line: No man, it's our fuel to sustain us through the night.
Shopper3: laughs while walking away

Guys in front of line: What do you guys think is the number one condiment in the US?
Girl in line: ketchup!
Guy at back of line: mayo!
Guys in front of line: No man! It's mustard. You can eat mustard with anything.
This was followed with 15 minutes of argument about why mustard is better than ketchup

Ahhh yes, so you can see how bored I was with the silly mind flossing discussions that were going on. I was the quiet girl who was doing her homework while everybody else threw out points about why they were nerdier than the other and deserved to be in line.

The rest of the night really wasn't any more interesting than the first 2 hours. The same conversations were repeated over and over (mustard vs ketchup). In the middle of the night I seriously had to use the bathroom. Hubby insisted that I go to the darkness of the bushes and use a bottle to do my business. Wargh no way jose'! I was so not going to do that. And since all of us in line had said that we would be ok with anyone getting out of line for bathroom breaks, I drove over to the 24 hour grocery store across the street and asked if they had a bathroom I could use. Oh thank goodness there was one. Coz if there wasn't one, I was going to drive back home which was 10 minutes away to use my own bathroom. No one said we couldn't leave the line to go back home for the bathroom break. hehehehehehhehe

7 hours to go
Can't believe hubby is asleep. Bloody hell, the girl next to me is still smoking. Wish she would smoke somewhere else.

6 hours to go
Under the covers but wide awake - Hears shrieks of laughter "Oh my god, oh my god, we snuck out of our house!! Eeeeekkkk... ooh, ooh. this is so exciting!". Riiiiggght...

5 hours to
"Hey guys! who has the most annoying ring tone?" asks number 1 in line. Sounds of different types of ring tones start playing. Ok, I'm not going to get any sleep.

4 hours to go
It's getting more quiet. I can actually get some shut eye. Right, dozing off now... aaah..... WTF!!! Where did the ciggie smoke come from? *groan* Pulls sleeping bag over head.

3 hours to go
"Hey everyone's asleep!" says number 1 in line. "C'mon! We're not doing this for me, We're not going this for you. We're doing it for Weeeeeeeeeeeeee". Such lame jokes I tell you. Just shut up and go to bed!

1/2 an hour to go
"Dude, wake up. They're going to hand out the tickets soon". Oh good..... I actually managed to get some shut eye and not get woken up by unnecessary comments and conversation. Hmm.. the smoking girl must be asleep too. Yup, she's asleep alright. Right then, lets' get up and roll up our blankets and sleeping bags and wait out the next half an hour.

The store manager handed our tickets. They had 33 only. I'm not sure if any of the people at the back of the line were disappointed. Imagine spending the night out in the cold only to know that you're going back home empty handed. Anyway, we were number 11 and 12!


Once everyone got their tickets half of the line disappeared to use the bathroom at the grocery store across the street. Hehehehee... funny ok. I didn't have to go coz I made sure I didn't drink anything during the night. Just before the store was going to open, everyone back in line and actually got their systems according to what number you were in line. I thought that was extremely fair. That way the people who actually had to wait longer would get the first pick for games and accessories that were being sold too. Dunno what games number 33 got.

So yeah, here's the system and I don't know yet whether it was worth the wait or not. I kinda feel jet lagged and am happy that it's a Sunday so I can actually go through the day like a zombie. Am sleeping at 9pm today.

So, all 12 hours for this. It better be worth the investment:

PS3 no more?

Oh great, we did not expect that people in this really ulu town where we live would decide to camp out for the PS3 3 days in advance! There we were coming home from school/work, and passing by the electronics store on Wendesday night and there were already 10 tents set up in front of the store. The game system isn't even going to be out until Friday morning. I tell you, Americans are a material-based bunch and everything they do is to get materialistic things or to get more money. The people lining up outside the store are definitely out to get the money. After all, if they can brave the cold and wet weather for two full nights, get the system for $600, sell it for $2000, get money AND they can wait until after new year's to get the system for themselves. Ka-ching in their wallets indeed. But I'm not going to be crazy like them and camp out for two nights. Where on earth do you go to use the toilet? And won't you lose your spot in line if you leave to use the bathroom? tsk...tsk... no way would I do that. I counted the number of people who were already there and it's close to 23. The store only has 26 game systems to give out. Probability of us getting one? eeeeeh.. not very good I think.

Ok, but as much as I'm dissing these people who are out to take advantage of the materialistic ways americans are - I'm feeling so utterly sad that the chance of making at least $1000 is flying away. But at least I can feel that way in the comforts of my own home. hahaa............

Ack

Oh my gawd. Is there really only 4 weeks left of the semester? I cannot believe it. I CANNOT believe it! This semester has really gone by fast! I haven't been keeping track of what 'week' of the semester it is and now the end is finally showing it's face. I'm kind of freaking out coz I still need to get my group project started (yes, started - we're all graduating and we've all been way too lazy), pick a topic for my individual term paper and write the term paper, finish up two case briefs, take 3 exams, go for my job interviews and get my work permit application signed and mailed. I still have to arrange my logistics for my trip back home too as my brother is getting married. And before I get back home I have to finish 2 personal projects that I said I would do. That's going to take so much of my time. But at least I think I can wait until the end of the semester to actually start thinking about it. Right now I just need to buck up and concentrate on my studies to make sure I don't mess up my grades. I will never be able to forgive myself if my CGPA gets pulled down coz I took it easy this semester and didn't work as hard as I should have. *shudder*

Thinking about this outburst makes me miss talking to Sunshine, my best friend. She used to be in OZ and she and I would chat online almost everyday. Even if we didn't chat, she would write me emails to tell me about her day. And I would do the same. But now that she's permanently back in Malaysia I've only heard from her maybe 4 or 5 times. It makes me sad. I know it's hard to get online and spend time chatting when you're in Malaysia. There's so much to do, so many people to see and so many responsibilities to take care of your own, family and relatives. Plus she's due to give birth soon so I'm sure she's busy with preparing for that too. Even if she's not preparing for the birth, she's definitely resting more coz hey, you're carrying so much extra weight right? I wrote about Sunshine in one of my earlier entries. In it I worried about how we would lose touch and stop communicating once she returns to our homeland. Looks like it's coming true. Sometimes I feel like just picking up the phone and talking to her. But there's always not enough time. Maybe I'll call her this weekend. I really do miss our friendship and open communication.

Anyway, I should get back to my work. Lazy diva! Such a lazy diva I am.

Camping out

Hubby has talked me into spending the night outside of the local electornics store. He bought a mini tent (but it's not water proof!), some heating pads (since I have raynaud's disease), and foldable chairs for when we get sick and tired of lying down or standing up in the tent. All this so we can be first (or at least, the first few) in line for the new s0ny game system. He's actually taking a few hours off from work so that we can secure ourselves the top xmas present for this year. And no, we're not planning to keep the toys for ourselves. No, no, hubby's more entreprenuerial than that. He's planning to sell em. We need to raise money to fund our trip to visit our parents and also to have a cushion in our savings for emergency. I don't know whether to feel excited or not. Sure it's going to be fun the first few hours of camping. But after that I think the diva in me will start to crave for the warm and soft bed at home and the comforts of using the bathroom at home. Actually, where on earth are we going to go if we need to use the bathroom? Hooo boy....

I do think however that this will be one of those things we'll look back and laugh upon when we're old and wrinkly. Anyway, why not take advantage of the materialistic ways of the people who live here? If they want to make the season about getting the most expensive toys instead of the r3lig0us aspects of it, so be it. After all we're not in that group of people. Plus we don't have children yet - so we don't have to worry about leaving them at home alone or with a babysitter while we spend the night outside the store. Gotta do it while we're young eh? And just thinking about how much we could possibly make (minimum $500) in profit is making me pretty excited.

You can tell that I'm trying to convince myself that this is a good idea and won't be a waste of time. We'll see what happens right? Maybe I'll even bring a camera and snap a few pictures.

Job Hunt still alive

I just heard from the company I interviewed at, P. I've been called back to the final interview! Yay!! I'm so thankful that I got through the second round. I kept telling myself that I didn't care if I got through or not but I have to say that I actually did care. I know this now coz when I heard from the recruiter about the callback, I was ecstatic. The next phase is actually a 2-in-1 interview. The first night me and other candidates are having an informal dinner with our potential managers. The next day is the formal interview. I see that the company is putting quite a bit of emphasis on the interaction outside of the work environment too since we have this meet and greet dinner. On top of that, it's all expenses paid! The company's putting us candidates up in a hotel and paying for transportation (yes, flights from outside the area included). I just hate the fact that I'll have to alone at the hotel though. I think getting prepared in the comforts of my own home would've been a better choice for me. That way hubby can calm my nerves and make sure that my suit isn't crooked or that I have a bit of my shirt tucked into my panties or something. And I cannot imagine getting a good night's rest for an interview the next day in a bed that is so unfamiliar to me. Dahlah sorang2 eeeee... takut.

Anyway hubby is happy for me that I'm going through the next round, but I don't think he likes the idea of me sleeping at a hotel for the interview. I bet you thoughts of me having fun and interacting with the people I will be meeting at the interview event is disturbing him quite a bit. I can be naughty when I want to. muahahaaa... Its good to have these reminders once a while that he has to appreciate me a bit.

Oh boy, it feels like the room is spinning. I think I've had too much coffee. I'm going to go detox myself.

Aliens

No, not the outerspace kind. The kind that are non i*m*grants in the US. Why on earth do they have to use that term anyway? Isn't "foriegn" enough? Everytime I have to check off a box to mark that I'm an 'alien' I get so peeved. Even my professors and supervisors crack up at the thought that I'm an alien. It sounds so degrading somehow. Like you shouldn't be in the country. Benci ok.

Now getting a job is so hard too. A lot of companies only accept applicants who are citizens or permanent residents. And I'm neither. Sigh. As you can imagine, the job hunt is progresing very slowly. Other than the one interview I attended two weeks ago, I haven't received any calls from any other company to come in for an interview. It's very disheartening. Yesterday I overheard one really upbeat girl telling her professor that she aleady has a job offer. It kind of annoyed me eventhough we weren't competitors. I wasn't annoyed that she got the job. It was more of the fact that she went on and on about how she felt sorry for her classmates that didn't get a job offer yet. The way she said it did not sound like she was sorry at all. It sounded more like she was proud that she secured an offer while her classmates were all grovelling around to get a job. I didn't have to try hard to hear her every word either. She was basically shouting it out so that everyone within earshot could hear every single word. What a snob.

Another thing I found disturbing is the fact that more and more talkshows, magazines and tv programs are promoting the fact that if you aren't beautiful, you cannot succeed. There was an experiement with a pair of gorgeous looking twins. They transformed one of the twins to make her look plain and not very stylish while the other remained the beautiful, stylish girl that she is. Basically at the end of it we could really see how one twin was treated compared to the other. I always believed deep down inside that people take more interest in someone who is attractive. They also take the time to learn more about you when you've captured their attention through your attractiveness. But I thought people could still be fair when it came to extending job offers or even an offer to attend a particular university. But maybe not in this country. Maybe in this country, where the hollywood stars are treated like royalty, where plastic surgery is the norm, where weight loss is a goal everyobody has, being more beautiful can get you ahead.

Maybe it's true that what's inside counts, but first you need to get someone's attention with your looks to ensure that they take the time to learn how beautiful you are inside too.

What a cruel world.

Dementia

For a while now everytime I call home to talk to my mom she tells me about my grandma's forgetfullness. I think it started some time last year. She would forget simple things like where she kept her handbag or house keys. Then she would forget things like how we had extended an invitation to her to come for a gathering at our place (she would feel hurt because she heard it from someone else and thought that she wasn't invited). And now it's becoming really bad. She's lost the ability to remember names, she can't remember eating or whether she cooked or not, she would think that someone else's handbag was hers or her handbag is someone else's and she won't remember the people she meets. She'll have a really great conversation with someone, know the person by name, but two hours after the meeting, she'll forget who they were and why she was talking to them so animatedly if she didn't recognize them. What's worse is that she knows her memory is failing her and she is very troubled about it. She keeps asking why she can't remember anything and the doctors keep telling her that it's just old age. If only there's a way to cure it. But I've read somewhat on the topic and it looks like the only that can be done is to slow the progression with medication.

I remember growing up and meeting old grand aunts who were having the same problems as my grandma. But back then I thought that it would never happen to someone in my family. Now that it's happening, I wonder who else in our family would grow to be like that too. What if my mom would be that way when she grows older? I'd feel horrible if I couldn't take care of her since I'm so far away from where she is. Maybe by then hubby and I would have moved back to our home country. But you never know, we're not planning for it that's for sure. The option is always kept open, but only as a last resort if things don't go well for us here. It may sound very selfish, but it's just the way it is for us. I don't need to list the reasons for our choices. Our family members understand why we do it. And that's enough.

Anyway, I do hope my grandma will live long enough to meet and be entertained by the children I hope to have in the future. No one's getting any younger and sometimes in the race to establish and make a name for yourself, you forget the other things in life that matter.

Parties - US style, Malaysian style

I never really realized that there were those types of parties that you get invited to where you don't go to just eat and hang out with friends or acquaintances you know. When I first arrived in LA, hubby and I were invited to a neighbour's house for a 60th birthday party. Orang mat salleh tua, I know - but they also heard about the asian lady that hubby married and they wanted to meet me. Anyway, we went, we mingled, ate very little food and then proceeded to a malay couple's house for a visit as they lived 5 doors away. The first thing the malay couple asked when we told them that we were at a party was "Makan apa?" quickly thinking about the abundance of food that are normally served in malaysian gatherings. Hubby said that it was a mat salleh party so all that was served was chips, pop and alcohol. The malay couple seemed extremely confused. What's a party without food right? But if that's the norm over here, why change it?

Now hubby and I have different styles of parties when we have people over. If the guests are going to be asian - indians, pakistanis, cambodians, indonesians and the like, we cook a lot of food. To us, parties and gatherings are about eating loads of food and having fun. These parties take a lot of preparation. If it's not a pot luck, the preparation and cooking can begin days in advance. And there's the thing about making sure that you have more than enough food. It's better to have more than enough compared to having too little. That way you can pack some to give your guests to take home. Too little is an embarrassment. A mat salleh style party (if it isn't a formal sit down dinner party) takes very little preparation. Just buy some pizza, soda, chips and salsa and everybody's happy. Don't have to spend so much time getting stuff prepared and cooked. No slaving away in front of the stove to ensure that the dishes prepared are slow cooked and tastes superb.

All this talk about food is making me hungry. hehe... I think I shall go have my breakfast now. :)

The differences of being interviewed over here and in Malaysia

I've had a couple of job interviews since I've been here in this foreign country. Some were for internships and right now, it's for an entry level job. I used to be so scared of job interviews. The ones I've had in Malaysia were always so negative. The interviewer would always look at things to put you down and you really had to fight for yourself. "You got a B in English?! tsk...tsk.." I remember one of the interviewers commenting. "Why are your exam results so bad?" another would ask because I got a C in one class while all the other grades were an A. HUH?! Over here, the interviewers always have good things to say about you. But don't be fooled. It doesn't mean you'll get a job. I've never been to an interview where the interviewer has questioned my abilities. In fact, over here they're not allowed to ask personal questions such as whether you're married or if you have a family. I remember the one time in Malaysia, I was asked if I was single or not. Beats me why they asked that question. I think it's coz they didn't want me to have other priorities that needed attention and could focus on work. Giler

Anyway, yesterday I went for a job interview and I suppose it went ok. I didn't feel extremely confident walking out just because of the expereiences I've had. The employer tho has quite a long interviewing process. I had to attend a casual dinner to get to know them better, then attend the formal interview. If I pass this interview I'll have to attend a 2 day interview function. On the first day we mingle with all the other candidates and the manager we would potentially work with. Then we'd have a formal interview with the manager the next day. Quite a process huh? I think it's great. They'll get to see the other side of a candidate besides just the formal interview. I don't do so well in formal interviews. But sit me at a table over dinner, and I'll be able to carry a conversation just fine. :)

Well, whatever happens I can put this down in my experience library. I've learnt not to get too worked up over whether I get a particular job or not. The dissapointment isn't too horrible that way.

Random events

It's the weekend but hubby's working today (Sunday) so it doesn't really feel like it's the weekend. We were able to go do some window shopping yesterday but the weather was so horrible that I didn't really enjoy the outing. It was cloudy, it was cold and at one point, we were pelted with a hailstorm. Poor hubby had bits of ice dropping into his clothing through the opening at the neck. One hit his ear and it stung for quite a bit. Horrible..horrible weather. Just as I thought the weekend weather was going to continue being crappy, the sun came shining out on Sunday morning. What horrible luck for hubby to have to go in to work on such a fantastic weather-day. I ended up going out alone and getting some things for the home. Oh, and I bought a new suit too. The other day during the career fair, I managed to secure an interview with one of the companies. I'm ecstatic! Some of us 'chosen ones' were asked to attend a casual dinner the evening of the career fair and I found out that only 5 of us were chosen for an interview from our university! Man, who wouldn't be happy? The only thing is though there are many stages of the interview process and well, this was only one of many hurdles that all potential candidates have to go through. I just hope I get through the next phase at least - the test phase.

Anyway, besides the one good opportunity from this company for the interview, the other 15 company reps I talked to didn't seem too eager to hire anyone. Other than giving my resume to them and hearing the same "I'll forward this to our HR department", there wasn't much to look froward to. Some companies weren't even looking to hire graduate students! What's so special about undergraduate students compared to graduate students anyway? I was about to give up and just leave. I'm glad I left with at least one opportunity for an interview.

So today I went suit hunting for the interview. I had worn the only other professional suit to the career fair and also to the casual dinner hosted by that company. So of course I have to wear a different suit to the interview. Can you believe how hard it is to look for a suit for someone who's 5 ft 2 over here where everyone's supposedly obese and tall?! It was so horrible. I went to a department store that has petite sizes, but they didn't have small petite sizes so the pants were too big even if the length was just nice and the suit jackets were to flabby. Then I went to a really nice store where I knew would have my size, but it turns out that they don'tt carry the petite line for suits in their store. They had casual wear in petite size, but not suits. Blurgh! Finally I went to a store that I saved for last coz the suits tend to be more on the trendy side. But the store layout was so stupid. The suit tops would be hung on the rack and the matching pants would be folded in a different section of the store. And because they carry so many patterns of pants, it was so hard to find the matching pants for the suit top. On top of that, there was only one suit top for every size. And because I'm a size 2, and everyone else here is a size 2 too, I couldn't find myself a suit top! I finally found one, the store assistant found the matching pants after scouting all over, both top and bottom fit well and I was already at the counter about to pay for it when I realized that the pants and top didn't match! There were double stripes on the pants but single stripes on the top. Should've looked at the expression on the store assistant's face ok. She seemed to flustered. We finally found a solid black pantsuit that matched and came in my size, but I was just dissapointed that the store assistants couldn't be more competent. The last time I went to the store the same thing happened. I was looking for a suit and the store assistant kept insisting that I could wear this one pants with a suit top. It was so obvious that it didn't match but because both top and bottom had stripes on it, she kept saying it matched. Yesterday a person at the cash register insisted that she had made sure that the items we bought were discounted but we had to point out to her that if you do the math, the discount was not given to us. Luckily hubby was paying attention to the numbers. My mind was elsewhere and I would've just paid the cashier without any questions. Tsk..tsk..

Oh, did you know that you could get on the reservation list at T0y$ R U$ to get the PS3 when it comes out in Nov? Hubby found out and quickly asked me to go get on the list. But by the time I got there, they had no more space on the list. I saw some signs outside the store which directed how one should line up for the reservation list. I think some people probably started lining up really early in the morning. I wouldn't be suprised if people slept outside the store to be first in line!

Anyway, I have tons of homework to do and tons of laundry to fold. I also need to cook. Am hoping to get everything done by tonight before leaving for a birthday party of a friend.

Job Hunting

Oh man, can it really be that close to graduation date already? I can't believe I have to start job hunting. Actually I've been trying to get a job for quite a while now. But most companies don't even want to look at my resume coz they need someone to start immediately. It's always "Call back when you graduate." Blurgh!

But we're having a career fair at our university and I would think that the companies who are attending the fair are looking for entry-level job candidates right? So I don't have to graduate yet. I just wonder how to go about the whole "we are only looking for permanent residents and US citizens only" bit. That's a whole different story. I just want experience. Lantaklah if it's just a full-time internship for the first year. Ugh, so many things to think about. I know I'm going to be nervous talking to the employers. But unless I relax, things will surely go wrong. I've had so many bloopers in my past interviews, I just hope this time around it won't be so bad.

Clean shoes? Check
Ironed suit? Check
Resumes? Check
References? Check
Neat hair? Check
Minimal make-up? Check
Potential questions and answers? Check
Firm handshake? Check

I'm sure there are things that I can't remember right now but I'll have to go and get myself prepared. Wish me luck.

It came and went.

First day of eid was celebrated moderately. I had a nice time, albeit the monthly visit that prevented me from joining the congreration for the eid prayer. sob sob, but that's ok. I still went to the mosque anyway and just sat in the community hall where I could hear the imam recite the takbir and the prayer. Right after it was done hubby and I quickly left as he had to be at work. We managed to take one picture together (oh thank goodness it turned out well!). After sending hubby to work I hung out with Rins the msian girl here. We were hoping that some other people would come over to visit but huh, no one came till later in the evening. By that time I had to go to class. Too bad. :p

The other day I had three people over for the break of fast. I thought it would be a nice gesture for a couple who just arrived here in town. I suppose they didn't think we needed to be nice to them. They were rude to hubby by changing the time they would meet us (more than once), being late after confirming the last time they would be at home so hubby could pick them up and bring them over to our place, and never said sorry for actually being late. The drive to our place apparently was filled with said new boy dissing hubby's car, the fact that he had to use the GPS system to get around and then even dissing our things and apartment. It wasn't obvious, but he seemed to be one of those people who like knowing that they're better than other people. Hubby was flaming mad and has decided that we will never have the couple over to our place again. I'm quite saddened coz I thought they would be a couple that we could hang out with since we don't have many couple friends here. But it looks like that won't work out. I thought the wife was quite sweet, but if the boys can't get along, then I don't think the friendship is a good idea either. I'm very forgiving see, and you have to be nasty to me many many times before I decide that I don't want to be friends with you anymore. First impressions are very important to hubby though. He sizes you up the first time you meet him and he'll decide whether he likes you or not. He has this knack of reading people very well. He rarely gets hurt, unlike me. How different yet compatible we are.

Anyway, it's back to our daily lives here. Hubby is at work and I'm going around the house catching up with school work and house work. Hopefully we can have a nice eid gathering this weekend. Question though.... do we invite the new couple or not? They'll hear about the gathering coz I'm friends with all their other friends. Ponder...ponder...

Eid Mubarak

Ok, its the night before syawal and I'm feeling a little bit lost, a little bit out of place. I miss the sounds of the takbir in Malaysia which can be heard all over the tv and from the local mosque. I guess I'm feeling like there's something missing here. Last year I remember being really homesick and feeling like it was unfair that I had to celebrate the joyous occassion without my family yet again. I thought of the years that my family would wake up and have breakfast together... go the mosque for our raya prayers together and then come back home to sit down and ask for forgiveness from each other. Then we would go to my grandma's house where we would meet all my cousins and aunties and uncles. We would all wish each other eid mubarak and ask for forgiveness and the party would begin. The little kids would run around making us laugh, the young ladies would sit together and catch up on each other's news, the young men would go around taking photographs and videos of all of us. The best thing was seeing my mom and her sisters with their mother chatting away. My cousins and I would be amazed at how similar their facial expressions were and how they all had the same sort of laugh. The first day of eid was definitely fun. In the evening we would pack up our bags and head for my dad's hometown. We would then spend a whole week there visiting relatives. It was bittersweet in a way. I hated the part where I would have to answer the same questions over and over again "What are you doing now?", "When are you getting married?" And now that I'm married "When are you going to have a baby?". But it was familiar and comforting knowing that the same ritual would happen every year. Year after year I would see my dad's aunts get older, and some, would pass away. My cousins would one by one get married and have children. And our family just grew and grew. Now that I'm away from all that, it feels quite odd.

Being away from Malaysia I've tried instilling the malay culture in our everyday lives. Hubby is very much a malay eventhough he's lived abroad all his life. He LOVES malay food. Even more than I do actually. And because of that, I've had to learn how to cook malay food. I'm enjoying it more and more. Throughout the ramadan I've tried to cook as much as I can, being as creative as I can. Today as I cooked the last meal we would eat this ramadan, hubby came up from behind me to give me an appreciative hug and kiss "Thank you for all that you've done this ramadan" he said. He knows it's a special month. He knows it's special eventhough we live here without the ramadan bazaars, the sounds of the terawih prayers from the mosque and the sounds of hari raya songs being played on the radio and in the shopping complexes. Today he seemed quite nostalgic as he thought about how he grew up celebrating raya in this foreign land. It was quite the same as he would don his baju melayu and join the other malaysians here for prayers and a gathering. But the celebrations always lasted only on that day , and then maybe the weekends that followed.

Tomorrow all we're doing to greet the special day is to join the others at the local mosque for the eid prayers. Hubby then has to go to work. I on the other hand will try to spend some time with the Indonesians and one other Malaysian girl I know here. Hopefully it'll be fun. I'm not inviting anyone over to our home as it just doesn't feel right with hubby working and me having to go to class in the evening till 11pm. So maybe that's why I feel as thought it's not really raya. I'm itching to cook and make a feast for all of us to eat - the lemang, the lontong, the kuah kacang.... but it's not the right time. I think I'll try having some people over on the weekend. Maybe it'll bring some cheer to this heavy heart. I still wish I could be back in Malaysia for the festivities. But you know what? that wish isn't as heavy as it was a year ago. Maybe I'll start getting used to celebrating this special occassion away from family and friends. After all, hubby and I should start our own little celebration tradition. I look forward to that.

Happy Eid everybody.

Salam Aidilfitri!

I just checked out the local mosque's website and apparently we could be celebrating eid on Sunday. Seems a bit odd coz I thought it was either Monday or Tuesday. I know we started fasting on the 23 of September. And the islamic council did say that they were going to adhere to the whole calculation methods of knowing when eid would start instead of doing the whole "looking at the moon thing". According to the council, eid is supposed to fall on Monday. Sometimes simple things like this can be so complicated. I'm going to follow the advice of my uncle and what most religious leaders say. Follow the leader of your community. Better to adhere than to fight among each other. So the community leader's word is to follow then. And if eid falls on Sunday, heh, even better. That way hubby won't have to take a few hours off from work on Monday to do a little bit of celebrating.

Preparations on this side aren't a plenty. I'm probably going to make the obligatory rendang and lemang (lemang in the foil - not the batang buluh!). My grandma always had lontong on the first day of raya, so I'm probably going to try to make some of that. I have the lodeh part down to pat. The kuah kacang, well... last year I made it from scratch and it actually turned out good, so maybe I'll try it again. The nasi impit part is gonna be kinda hard. I've always had the nona instant mix where the rice is prepackaged in this plastic bag which I just boil in a big pot. The rice cooks and expands but because it is in the plastic case, it gets 'mampat'. How do people make nasi impit without that packet? I'll have to find out. :p Other than that, I just got a call from the UPS guy who has delivered a package from KL and has left it with a neighbour. Hehehe can't wait to delve into the many raya cookies that my parents have packed and shipped over. What great timing too since it's arriving just before eid. Lucky thing it didn't get stopped at customs. The last package I received was stuck in customs for about a week. Sheash.

Anyway, to all who are celebrating eid, Eid Mubarak! Or in Malay, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Ampun dan maaf di pinta sekiranye ada tersalah dan tersilap bahasa. May we all be blessed this month!

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Oh I almost forgot! Happy Diwali too, to those celebrating it this Saturday!

Thankful

No wonder I was so upset a few days ago and ranting about the smallest things. It was PMS! I have to admit I can be very easily provoked during that time of the month. Anyway, just so you all know, I felt a lot better after the post. And a little bit guilty too, coz as I came out of the room where I was, I found that the whole apartment had been cleaned and vacuumed by hubby. I apologized for the way I acted (I was b!tchy to him!) and being the wonderful husband that he is, he forgave me. Apparently I shouldn't have gotten upset so quickly. He said that he was planning to help me with the housechores when he found out that I was going to be busy with studying for the exams. But I had let my emotions get the better of me and exploded before he could get to the chores.

Sometimes I just feel so unappreciated for the things that I do. It's not that I hate doing the chores. I do like to make the home a nice place to live in and I do want to make hubby happy, but sometimes there's not enough time in the day to do all of that AND to take care of myself at the same time. But I know we can work on that. It's nothing biggie. I've come a long way from being the spoilt daughter that didn't need to think about cooking or cleaning. I know I can continue to be a better person. And sometimes my evolving is really due to the encouragement hubby has for me and the expectations that he has of me.

Anyway, syukur alhamdulillah I say for the health that we both have, for the love that I get from hubby, for the opportunity to better myself in terms of education, for all the things that make our lives more comfortable than some people will have (not like we're super rich, but just enough you know?), for parents that understand the decisions we've made, for true friends who've stuck by through thick and thin, for new friends who have expanded our small minds to the bigger things in life and for so many other things that would make my list unneccessarily long.

Last week of ramadan

Can't believe it's the last week of ramadan already. It feels like we just started fasting a few days ago. Everytime the end of ramadan comes along I feel quite nostalgic. I'm quite sad to see the holy month go. The month of ramadan always brought my family closer together. Everyone stopped their activities to have dinner together and to pray together. Even over here where it's only hubs and me, we will sit down for a proper dinner. I try to cook a few extra dishes and something sweet too, as a dessert. I feel a lot closer to The Creator too as I am somehowe more in tune to my thoughts and to serving Him. It should be this way all the time, not just during Ramadan, but maybe the whole 'satans are all locked up' has something to do with it. I dunno whether to believe if its true or not. It sounds quite comical sometimes, but then again, why the concentration now, and not during other months?

Anyhoo, I'm starting to think about what to do for Eid or Hari Raya. Since it's falling on a Monday, and since it's not a public holiday over here, hubby will have to schedule his working hours. Even then, I doubt he can spend more than a few hours to just go to the masjid for the morning prayer and then off to work he'll have to go. I on the other hand am free during the day and will only have classes at night, so I suppose I can celebrate the hari raya somewhat. I know another malay girl here who'll want to celebrate. Other than that I don't know anyone else. It's quite sad how hubby and I have closed ourselves off from other people. It's always just the two of us. We go do things together on the weekend, sometimes we join our friends, but most of the time it's just the two of us. We don't live close to the friends I've made at the university. It's about a 30 min drive from where they live so we don't bump into them when we're out and about in our shopping area. Hubby's friends or colleagues are all married and with children. They have their own families and friends that they hang out with so we don't see much of them. Not that hubby wants to hang out with them anyway. He sees them at work every day of the week, why on earth would he want to spend more time with them on the weekends? So we live in this little bubble.

Well, I'd better be off. Gotta study for my last paper. It's almost midnight and I need my sleep or else I won't have any energy to wake up for sahur tomorrow and stay awake for the rest of the day.

Exam Week

So it's exam week. I actually sat for one paper last week and have two more to go this week. I'm feeling soooooooooo demotivated though. I can't make myself read the notes that I need to go through for the exams. I remember the first semester I was here and how my heart would just beat a million times faster (figuratively) just counting down the days to the exams. Now I can't give a hoot! Two of the exams are open book tests and you know what that means right? The answers aren't in the book so you can bring all the books and notes you want, but you won't find the answer there. Most of the time it's because the exam is all about the application of the concepts that you've learnt in class. It's all those "what do you think about...." questions. The grading of those types of exams are so subjective. If you think the way your professor does, that normally means you'll get a higher mark. They all say that we have to back up our conclusions with concrete reasons and facts. But you can tell in the discussions in class that sometimes the way you see things are the 'wrong' way. You'll argue your heart out with the professor and he'll say oh, I'm not saying that you'r wrong, but this is what I think the answer is. See who gets the most points for thinking the answer the professor thinks is the best. hmph... Whether I like these exams are really dependant on how well I can read the professor and which direction I think he'll take with an opinion.

The multiple choice question types of exams are sometimes are a drag to sit for too. There's only one answer that is correct and my memory isn't very strong. When it comes to definitions and concepts, sometimes I can't remember the exact words so I end up not knowing what the answer of a question is.

I like exams that let you play around with a software or program on a computer. You can tell if you'r wrong if the software won't allow you to do a certain thing. hehehehhe..... I don't know, is that cheating?

Anyway, yeah as I said I don't have the strength and motivation to read anymore for my exams. I thought I would, but hmph, nothing's making me study. Sigh... I suppose I should just look through my notes again. At least I can say that I tried even if the exams go bad tonight.

Wish me luck!

Rant

I'm so fed up. Days like this make me so mad that I am the only one who is responsible for all the cleaning, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing and overall care of another human being. It's only one human being ok.

On days like this I cannot stand seeing the t-shirt lying by the side of the bed that is waiting to be picked up. I cannot stand the scribbles of notes and papers that do not need to be stored but are just lying around in the kitchen or the dining table or the bedroom. I cannot stand the pile of clothes that are waiting to be ironed just because I haven't had the time to get to them due to school work. I cannot stand the pile of dishes and pots that need to be cleaned just because I slaved away in the kitchen trying to cook something nice for the other human being. I cannot stand the piles of journals and textbooks that are strewned all over his side of the bed because he can't be bothered to put them away after reading them. I cannot stand the sound of the video games on the tv while I'm trying to cram for my exams. I cannot stand the fact that I have to go to sleep much later than him after slaving away at home and at school but still have to think of his needs. He goes to sleep right away. I have to take a shower, wash my hair, dry my hair (or else I'll catch a cold), lather on lotion (that got washed off because of the shower) and then wake up in 4 hours just to do everything all over again.

Sure he's the one that has to work hard to provide for our home and the car and all the other materialistic things that we have. But it's so unfair that he expects me to care for the house and for himself just because I'm his wife. Caring for him does not mean having to pick up after all the pieces of clothing that he can't bother to put in the laundry basket. Caring for him does not mean cleaning the floor of all the pieces of hair that is falling of his head. Why can't be volunteer to help with the housechores without me having to ask for help? Unless I get worked up over all the things that I have to do and make a big fuss, he won't help. He thinks its easy. He thinks its nothing to complain about. But if you're like me, and have to pick up after him over and over and over again, you'd go mad too. Especially when I have my education and my sanity and well-being to think about. Gone are the days that I could spend doing my nails, my hair and going for facials. Gone are the days that I can leisurely pluck every inch of hair on my body to loook presentable and nice. It's now all about his comfort and health. I come second.

No amount of clothing bought for me will wipe the frown off my face when we come home and find the floor and tables dusty when it was just cleared a few days before. At least he's helping a bit you say? Well, I don't like the feeling of making him feel bad before he gets up and clears everything.

I'm just feeling crappy and used.

Snow in October?

Oh what a shock to the system! On Wednesday it was around 18 degrees C and the next day it went down to -2 degrees! It even snowed for a bit. All of it melted as soon as it reached the ground but I was shivering the whole day! The only time I wasn't shivering was when I was standing in front of the stove cooking for dinner (or the break of fast). Even then, I had my sweater on. Oh man, what a weather pattern. I told a friend from Malaysia and she thinks that the world is coming to an end. Talk about being morbid! But I have to admit the weather has been acting really wierd the past 5 years or so. Maybe its the effects of global warming. I've read very little about how to be more environmentally friendly but I cannot imagine my life without a car or without releasing CFC everytime I open the fridge. What about the abundance of aerosol cans that are sold?! Plus the more environmental friendly products are more expensive. I care about the earth and all, but it's just so hard for me part with cash when I know I can get a product that will work better for a cheaper price.

Oh how selfish of me. I'm not doing any good giving excuses for not taking better care of the planet I live on. Please don't punish me!

Back to the weather... since the cold weather is here we'll have to prepare ourselves again. I'll have to take out all our bulky sweaters that I put away when summer came just 3 months ago. I hate the cold, really I do. Even in tropical Malaysia I get cold so easily.... can you imagine how cold I get during true winter weather? And why on earth does gas prices have to be so high anyway? Even if we switch the heater on for a few hours a day, the bill can reach $200!! So because we're trying to so hard to save money we're always freezing at home. I am dressed in at least 3 layers with double socks on sometimes and a hat because my ears get so cold. *sigh* I'm not looking forward to slipping under the covers because it's always so cold. It takes a while before our warmth gets trapped underneath the duvet. I'm not looking forward sitting on the cold toilet seat in the morning! I'm not looking forward to the slippery roads and the short daylight hours. *sigh*

The only things to look forward to during winter are:

1. Food! It always tastes so much better coz u tend to look for comfort food.
2. Snow! When it's nice and sunny out and there's fresh snow on the ground, everything looks so pretty and crisp.
   
3. Winter coats! I get to finally wear the many coats that hubby has bought for me. hehe....
4. Nonexistent insects! The insects and bugs that come around the summer suddenly disappear. Ooooh this ones the best!
5. Winter sales! hehehehe
   

Other than that, I don't think there's anything else that I look forward to when winter comes around. Maybe this year I'll put up pictures of how winter over here looks like.

Comments and the like

I switched over my blog to the beta version today. Only then did I realize I had comments on my blog that had to be accepted! So sorry to oj, elisa and richard who dropped comments on my blog months ago. i've accepted them all and replied to them too. i've also changed the comments moderator setting on my blog so that I don't miss any more comments that all you nice folks are dropping on my blog. Many thanks!

Hari Raya Greeting Cards

Every year I since I've been abroad, I scramble to get a decent looking eid greeting card printed for all my aunts and uncles and grandma's in Malaysia. Every year after I slave away at the computer trying to design a special greeting I think about how I should've started the project earlier and not wait till the middle of ramadan to come up with a design. Alas, that never happens. This year, without fail I spent the whole of yesterday designing very simple cards to send to my relatives back in Malaysia. I think about just buying the eid greeting cards that might be sold in the US but huh, it says Eid on it.... not Hari Raya, or Salam Aidilfitri which is the malay greeting for Happy Eid. So I refuse to buy those english greeting cards.

But oh my goodness was it hard to design a card! I tried to even take pictures of my 'kain songket' to maybe incorporate as a border. Then I thought of maybe putting a picture of hubby and me in a frame that was shaped like the state we live in. hehehe lame! Then I stole another person's picture of a mosque and tried to work with that. But it all printed out oh so horribly. So in the end I used the little creative drawing skill I had and used M@cromedia Fl@sh to design some designs.

This is one of the designs that I came up with:


It printed out better than this one:


Ok, so it's reeeaally amateurish. But it's not too bad is it? At least I tried. Anyway, I also spent the day writing messages and short notes for all 20 cards. My minds all muddled up. I was trying very hard to write in proper malay. You know, the whole "Kehadapan nenda yang dikasihi" stuff. Huahahaha.. fail I tell you! Fail! I ended up just writing in English to my relatives who lived in the city and would probably be more forgiving to me for writing in a foreign language. tsk...tsk...

Anyway, I found some pretty nice greeting cards on ebay when I almost gave up designing this year's card. Maybe I'll just buy some off of that website next year. hehe.....

My own pressure cooker

Yay. I got a new gadget to play with. So men can have their plasma TVs, their sports cars and other wat nots.... I got this!

heehheheee.. Ok so it may not be that high tech. But I can say for sure that it will last a long, long time. It's a pressure cooker! Hehehe.. hubby loves ox-tail soups and this is the only gadget I know that will tenderize meat in less than an hour as opposed to 5 hours on the stove. Anyway, I tried my new gadget today and it tenderized hubby's favourite meal - the ox-tail soup in 30 minutes! As in, the meat was falling off the bone! But, now I'm so freaked out coz there's so much oil in the soup. I cut off the fatty parts of the ox-tail pieces but the soup was still so very oily. I'm cooling it down in the fridge right now and hoping that the oily parts will solidfy so I can scrape it off. If not, its going to be oily soup for the break of fast tonight!

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List of new dishes I've learned to make for the ramadan:

1. Ox-tail soup
2. Fried Chicken Rice (instead of roasted chicken rice)
3. Caramel pudding
4. Pengat Pisang
5. Jemput-jemput pisang
6. Kuih Ketayap (or some ppl call it kuih dadar)

I have a recipe for currypuff and sweet sour egg which I have yet to try. I'm quite happy with the new dishes I've learned. This is a huge feat for someone who never had to cook her whole life, ok! Even when I was living alone in the UK I brought boxes of thos brahim's instant paste that all I had to do was just add the meat and I'd get a decent tasting malay dish to eat with hot rice. I think my parents would be extremely pleased to know that their spoilt daughter can now cook some malay dishes from scratch. :)

Online Shopping

I quite like online shopping. Especially when it comes to buying books and make-up. I mean, why would I spend over $100 for a new textbook when I can get it for half the price online? Sure I have to wait for a few days for it to be shipped over but that's a savings of $50! And when you're on a student budget like me (I pay for my own school supplies and tuition - hubby pays for putting a roof over my head), I'd take any bargain I can get. I've had a lot of confidence in online shopping too. In fact, hubby started selling things online and we found that he could make quite a bit. As a seller hubby will also try to make a transaction as smooth as possible. We've had one or two 'bad' customers. One said his items never arrived and hubby couldn't prove that he had sent them out (now we use delivery confirmation service). Another was a very picky customer who was unhappy that her white jacket wasn't as white as she thought it would be. Oh well.... that's part of running a business right? Picky customers I can take. But fraudulant ones? I bought a book online and should have trusted my gut instincts when I saw that the seller didn't have any feedback on his profile. Two weeks went and the book never came. I ended up having to buy the book at the university bookstore coz we needed the book for class. Multiple emails were sent and were never replied to. At the end of the two weeks I saw that the seller had started getting negative feedbacks and a lot of people had not received the books the bought from this seller. Ugh, I got such a horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach. I had already paid off my credit card bill thus the money had already gone to the company that hosts the website. I couldn't even file a claim with the company 60 days until the transaction had been completed. Bl00dy hell. I was SO not happy with that. Sigh.. it's been 2 weeks since I filed my claim and it still hastn' been processed. I want my money ok! geram rite now.... so geram

2nd week of ramadan

Phew, so it's already been a week since muslims started fasting. Hubby and I are doing quite well fasting away from family this year. I think since it's the third year I've been away from KL, I'm starting to build our own family ritual and practices. Sure I miss the ramadan bazaars and breaking of fast with friends, family and relatives, but I don't like thinking too much about all of that. It'll make me quite nostalgic.

Anyway, I've been pretty good at waking up for sahur. Hubby and I dont eat during sahur anymore. Just have some hot tea and some other form of fluid. Lukewarm water for me, juice for him. Sometimes if I feel like I didn't eat much the night before I'll have a piece of toast. But I think my body has adjusted itself to the nightly meals and early morning drinks. And as usual during ramadan I get a little bit creative with the cooking. Except for the one day on Saturday when I was craving for cheese, we've had malay food all week. Not to mention some malay desserts. Granted they're easy and not as sophisticated as the ones you'd see at the ramadan bazaar in KL, but it reminds me a little bit of home. No pictures of all the dishes of course. Don't want to make fasting even harder (for me! hehe).

By the way, how sad is it that we've managed to use the coffee table instead of the dining table to set the dishes and drinks for the break of fast? Yeah, so unhealthy. I hope when hubby and I have kids we make sure we use the dining table to eat, and not the couch and coffee table in the living room.

At least I get to break my fast at home more often this year. Breaking my fast in class is not fun at all. The one class I have ends at 7:50pm which isn't so bad. I have a tumbler of water by my side and a little snack, like a date or a piece of cookie or some kind of sandwich (cut into little pieces) which I pop in my mouth when maghrib. By the time I get home it's 8:30pm and I eat a proper meal. The other day is tough coz I have back to back classes from 5:20pm to 10:40pm with a 10 minute break in between. First I have to haul myself from one classroom to ther other. Second, even if I brought a heavier meal to eat, I would have to gobble it all up in record breaking time. The other option is just to eat a slightly more than a piece of date. Either way by the time I get to eat properly, it's 11:15pm and by that time the gastric has kicked in. YEah... my body can't take it. Nothing in the stomach for too long, it screams. Some food in the stomach but eaten very quickly, it still screams. Very spoilt I guess.

In other news hubby actually ran the marathon over the weekend. He was in a relay team so he didn't have to run the whole 30km but it was still quite a feat as he didn't break his fast. On top of that he didn't even train properly and I have not been feeding him healthy food and portions. I can't believe he finished his part of the marathon without either twisting his many joints that have been injured in the past and are prone to injuring itself without notice, or get a heart attack. This is a private joke of ours as his family has very bad history of heart attacks and high cholesterol. I've nagged and nagged for him to go get a medical check-up so we can be aware of his cholesterol levels, but he's very determined not to admit that he could be a potential victim of his family's health pattern and history. Sigh....

Enuff blogging. Gotta go think of today's menu.