Rant

I'm so fed up. Days like this make me so mad that I am the only one who is responsible for all the cleaning, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing and overall care of another human being. It's only one human being ok.

On days like this I cannot stand seeing the t-shirt lying by the side of the bed that is waiting to be picked up. I cannot stand the scribbles of notes and papers that do not need to be stored but are just lying around in the kitchen or the dining table or the bedroom. I cannot stand the pile of clothes that are waiting to be ironed just because I haven't had the time to get to them due to school work. I cannot stand the pile of dishes and pots that need to be cleaned just because I slaved away in the kitchen trying to cook something nice for the other human being. I cannot stand the piles of journals and textbooks that are strewned all over his side of the bed because he can't be bothered to put them away after reading them. I cannot stand the sound of the video games on the tv while I'm trying to cram for my exams. I cannot stand the fact that I have to go to sleep much later than him after slaving away at home and at school but still have to think of his needs. He goes to sleep right away. I have to take a shower, wash my hair, dry my hair (or else I'll catch a cold), lather on lotion (that got washed off because of the shower) and then wake up in 4 hours just to do everything all over again.

Sure he's the one that has to work hard to provide for our home and the car and all the other materialistic things that we have. But it's so unfair that he expects me to care for the house and for himself just because I'm his wife. Caring for him does not mean having to pick up after all the pieces of clothing that he can't bother to put in the laundry basket. Caring for him does not mean cleaning the floor of all the pieces of hair that is falling of his head. Why can't be volunteer to help with the housechores without me having to ask for help? Unless I get worked up over all the things that I have to do and make a big fuss, he won't help. He thinks its easy. He thinks its nothing to complain about. But if you're like me, and have to pick up after him over and over and over again, you'd go mad too. Especially when I have my education and my sanity and well-being to think about. Gone are the days that I could spend doing my nails, my hair and going for facials. Gone are the days that I can leisurely pluck every inch of hair on my body to loook presentable and nice. It's now all about his comfort and health. I come second.

No amount of clothing bought for me will wipe the frown off my face when we come home and find the floor and tables dusty when it was just cleared a few days before. At least he's helping a bit you say? Well, I don't like the feeling of making him feel bad before he gets up and clears everything.

I'm just feeling crappy and used.