phew

What a long 3 weeks it has been for me. Elisa, thanks for dropping the comment. I didn't think anyone dropped by my blog anymore. After all, I haven't been diligent in updating it.

Anyway, I've had to think deep and hard and go through so many different emotions this past month. Things I've learned is that everyone has a different way of viewing an issue. And it's up to me to decide which is the best for myself. Coz only hubby and me really understand and know what we've been through and what our threshold for arguments are.

Things that make me wonder though are of the differing opinion one person compared to another.

Quotes I still remember and had swimming around my head were:

Online chatting really isn't cheating. He just wants to know if he still 'has it'. (try and guess if this person is a guy or girl!).

Knowing that he needs more than what you can give, you have to decide if you want to give the extra bit to him and lose a little bit more of yourself.

You have to remember that syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu and suami. To be the best person you can be, your number 1 priority is your husband.

The best and most comforting words came from hubby himself.

You have a right to be angry and no, you're not making a big issue out of this. I'm sorry. I have a problem and I want to fix it.

So taking in all that I've heard, I do believe that there are more good qualities in our marriage than the bad. But I can't help thinking, is it really true that men can't be without their women. So is life really all about making sure that he's happy coz if he's not, he will find it elsewhere - be it through friends, through strangers or other weird hobbies.

Is this another lesson in life?

Questions

I am so tired. Tired of crying, tired of being bitchy, tired of feeling like my heart is breaking in two. I am sick and tired of catching hubby seeking companionship with strangers when he feels like I'm not paying enough attention to him. I'm sick of confronting him and hearing him say sorry. I don't want to hear him say that he can't help it and that he has a problem. I want him to just stop. I want him to accept me for the person that I am. I can't give him what he wants. I can't give him what he needs. Is it even worth going on? Do the positive traits outweigh the negative? Am I all that unlucky to be with him? He cares for me, he loves me, but whenever I am the tiniest bit involved in my own life - my exams, my career, my family, my friends - he feels neglected. He's such a passionate person. His extreme happiness, love or sadness is so overwhelming. I can't be on the same level. Is it worth it to go on?

Most eligible bachelor no more

I shrieked when a friend smsed to say that Raja N@zrin is getting married. My.. my... finally he's making the plunge. I don't know why I felt so excited. It's not like I know him personally. I suppose being from Perak and having him attend my wedding has something to do with it. Next time he would be the one on the pelamin... instead of being flagged by the bride and groom. I just think it's sweet. I do hope it's for real and not just for show. Hopefully the person he has chosen has the intelligence and sophistication that he has. I just hope for the best for them both.

Back then...