3 weeks to go

So three weeks left in the semester. Sigh, so many things to do. So many things to think about. Two days ago I received another rejection from a company that I interviewed with. I know it's not due to my academics and qualifications. I'm always referred a company by a professor. When I ask if I have a chance at getting the job during the interview, most of the time I hear that I have very good work experience and that my academics are good too. I'm a lot better than most of the other students they've interviewed here, they would say. So why on earth do I get pushed aside when it comes to the final part!? I know it's because of my visa status I just know it. Kalau ada local graduate, they'd rather hire the local grad even if a foreign grad is more qualified. Sakit hati tau.

Some Malaysians would ask, why am I not leaving to go back to my home country. Some people say, dah lupa diri... Malaysia is not good enough. But that's not the case. I'm with my husband. He and I are every bit Malaysian as other Malaysians - maybe even more because when one is outside his or her home country, he/she tends to keep the malay culture that they know as alive as they possibly can. Orang kat Malaysia pulak yang nak jadi westernized. It doesn't matter what the choices in my life have been. I'm just really bummed out that it's not as easy a ride as most people think it is. We're the minority here. We have to work so much harder to prove that we're as qualified or even better than other people here. It's such a challenge. Yes, yes, I'm whining. I really shouldn't.

Anyway, I'm thinking about doing another masters degree while I'm here. By the time habis, rasa-rasanya dah boleh dapat PR. That way I won't have such a disadvantage when competing for jobs. What's another year of studies anyway. As for now, I'll just concentrate on finishing up this masters degree and making sure that I don't slack more than I already am.

No matter how much my plans are not working out, I should still be thankful. Yesterday I saw a sales assistant crying on a customer's shoulder. I overheard her telling the customer that she had just been fired and that she didn't know what to do since it's almost xmas and she has so many bills to pay. She seemed really upset too that she would leave the store that she had learnt to love, her co-workers that had treated her so well and the regular customers that she normally interacted with. I felt so kesian coz there I was feeling sorry for myself that my life wasn't going the way I wanted it to when I really shouldn't coz I have so many security blankets to fall back upon. We could move back with our parents (either one would take us under their wings in a heartbeat if we asked), we could go back to Malaysia where we have so many friends and contacts that could help us get a job and we have the savings account we built together in the event either one of us lost our income. We have our health, we have each other's love and I'm glad my eyes were opened yesterday.